Windy Wednesday Wobbler – Another Big Turnout

Yes, yes, I know – we’ve had three or four chain gangs and no report as yet, so I hope this makes amends. And what chain gang rides we have had! The first had more than 40 riders on it and the rides since have all had more than 30, with lots of new riders joining in – welcome! The numbers are unprecedented, in my experience, and a little alarming at times given it’s early in the chain gang season and we’re all a little ring-rusty or inexperienced. No need to worry though as I think everyone has been very aware to have a testing but safe midweek ride. Chapeau, chain-gangers!

 This week’s blowy conditions did nothing to limit numbers or enthusiasm as we set out in three or so well-spaced groups. Baron Buss had planned a strategy for surviving the tough outward leg, into-the-wind. Simply, he intended to shelter behind a chunkier gentleman. Step forward Lord Buckland, somewhat enlarged from a summer of gorging on pheasants (or is that peasants?) and gorgonzola, washed down with port. Peter espied him and gave me a wink, the crafty beggar.

 The large numbers on the ride, heading at speed into narrow and darkening lanes, gave rise to a recommendation that we ride single-file from the Herbrand Walk level crossing to past the Star Inn bridge. As far as I could tell, everyone did this and the result was a safer, smoother transition from the beach roads through the twists and pinch points that lead to the marsh proper. I announced this innovation by shouting to everyone before we started the ride. I must’ve enjoyed the shouting because I did a fair bit more as the ride continued.

 Riding in the middle group, we managed a good through and off rotation of the lead, only having any issues as we scooted up Spooky Hill, where as usual the short rise slows some more than others. This is less of a problem in smaller groups as the abilities tend to be better matched. In our larger group, you can usually live comfortably with the pace on the flat but be caught out on a hill. I know this all too well as a weaker climber; I usually end up on the outside desperately trying to make the head of the group, but being passed on the inside. Ugh! The lesson is to put yourself in the right place in the group as you ride from the Star Inn and past the level crossing at Normans Bay – easier said than done! Meanwhile, practice your hill sprints!

 So, the newer chain gang devotees are learning the ropes nicely, finding their place in the ranks and developing ever smoother riding styles. The old-hands are gruffly supportive. I shout. I mean, in a good way, but there is a fair bit of shouting emanating from my gob. Now, I think this has helped the newer (and some older) riders to have a more positive experience, but I would, wouldn’t I? Peter ‘Babs’ Baker took offence this week and offered me some shouty advice in return. We exchanged playful insults. That’s the trouble, isn’t it? The adrenaline is flowing and we’re all a bit wired, as if we’ve had a few double-espressos. Things are said, harsh things, words that sting but which cannot be taken back. You’ll be reassured to know that ‘Babs’ said he still loves me, but he always says that…

The group seems that much larger when assembled at the Pevensey roundabout, and noisier too. Neil Shier, this week acting as ‘Red Leader’ for the Ultras, confessed that he had perhaps set the pace a little too high, surrounded as he was by gasping and wheezing riders. The most excellent Stuart Hodd was not able to ride this week and I hear that Barney was busy building a bike, so it’s great that others are willing to step up and lead a group. There was a semi-structured restart to the ride in place of the usual free-for-all, which I think is an improvement. I should mention here that Simon G has kindly been ‘sweeping’ at the back of the chain to make sure the slower riders don’t get left alone on the marshes. Once he arrived, the first group made off and two further groups formed behind them shortly after.

 On the way out, we’d worked hard into the wind. Dan S did sterling work on the front, as did many others, including strong work from Kim, Adam and Duncan. Into the wind, it’s a bit easier to make smooth transitions; the wind acts as a natural brake on the front rider. On the way back, with the wind behind us, we needed more self-discipline as the breeze effectively super-charged our efforts. This is when a bit more control is needed and the groups did really well at reigning themselves in, keeping the group together and steadily building speed.

 The harder thing seemed to be controlling the urge to brake too hard when facing a hazard. A sudden drop in pace can quickly lead to a pile-up and we had a near-miss at one point. Steering might be the better thing to do, resisting the natural urge to squeeze the levers. The rider behind you will have less time to react and will be close to you. Nick S was at the end of one ripple, locking up his back wheel to avoid the rider in front; I had to swerve to miss him, neither of us sure what had happened ahead to cause this.

Whilst I’m in lecture-mode, it’s worth repeating the ‘Three Cs of the Chain Gang’: Concentrate, (be) Consistent, Communicate.

 ‘Babs’ (he likes that) had another chat with me at the traffic lights, although he had morphed into some sort of hippy character.

 ‘Just chill man, I mean, just let it happen, yeah? I mean like, what’s with the shouting?’ he drawled.

‘Well, we can’t just let it happen, if people don’t know what to do, can we?’ I replied stiffly (bloody hippy).

‘Whoa, you’re sooooo uptight Daddy-Oh, you gotta relaaaxxxx maaaaannnnn.’

 Oh dear, I think our relationship is in trouble. I’ve thought this for some time – we’re just not on the same wavelength. He’s always ‘too busy’ and then the next thing I know he’s cycling in Italy with some bloke called Paddy. I guess it’s time to move on*.

 Andy Coulter broke the awkward exchange with some sensible questions and a reminder that the club kit has arrived. You will presumably know if you ordered some or not, unless like me you cannot remember. Fear not – the excellent Andy has some spare kit, so there will be a chance to buy a shirt or whatever (whilst stocks last). Check the FaceBook page or emails for more news on this.

 Safe riding.

 
*Editor’s note: ‘Babs’ and Neil have been to Relate and are making a fresh start.

Brighton to Hastings Mtb 24/9

Our annual mtb ride to Brighton had to be reversed this year due to industrial action . We decided it would be best to get the train journey over with before starting the ride. So,myself, Peter BK, Malc and Derek arrived bleary eyed at Hastings station for 7:00 . Duncan and Tom joined us on the train at Bexhill and Eastbourne. This gave us our largest mtb turnout of the year but I was concerned that the guardsman would complain about the six mtbs blocking the carriage but despite being a bit grumpy nothing was said so we had a trouble free journey to Brighton.

Looking out the train window as the wonderful countryside flashed by it struck me just how lucky we are to live with the South Down national park on our doorstep, and that the park has been particularly kind to us this year with all the trails being so wonderfully dry.

I had mapped out the initial route along undercliff to Rottingdean but Duncan told us he knew a better way to join the downs from the marina.We all followed Duncan down to Madeira drive where we prompted stopped for bacon sarnies and tea having ridden for precisely one mile. At this rate we would have another 39 tea stops before arriving home, lol.

Suitably refreshed, Duncan took us on his new route which turned out to be an excellent way up onto the downs (our new default)

Duncan in great shape after his Italian expedition

The weather conditions were absolutely perfect, bone dry trails, a nice warm temperature and a cooling neutral southerly breeze.

In no time at all we had reached the foot of Itford hill where we had our second tea stop at the YMCA , this time opting for cakes rather than bacon sarnies. Our leg muscles were nicely warmed up and despite myself and Derek being last to the top of this massive hill I was pleased to gain a Strava pb.

Nice flowing undulating terrain took us rapidly over to Alfriston. We were all surprised at the rapid progress we were making and if this kept up we would finish the ride by the early afternoon.

From Alfriston there is a steep eroded path named on Strava as ‘lung buster’. This is my least favourite climb on the downs and I have never managed to ride up there without having to dismount. Much to my surprise, this time I managed to keep the front wheel down and made it successfully to the top without the front wheel lifting off. This isn’t because I have suddenly got fitter, its because I have ditched my long travel suspension post with a short travel one which gives me much better weight distribution on the bike .

A chance for me to escape for some solo riding

Buzzing with success I didn’t hang around to help the others fix Tom’s puncture but pressed up the next climb alone  towards  Jevington. Again, with the better position on the bike I was able to take the rooty descent from the long man faster than normal gaining another Strava pb.

All season I have been considering purchasing a full suspension rig but this sudden improvement in my hard tail 29er is making me hesitate, it’s almost like the bike is telling me, ‘don’t give up on me, I will behave from now on’

I had a few minutes on my own at Jevington, so was able to give Paul a ring. Unfortunately he had gone down with a nasty stomach bug the day before and was gutted to miss the ride. I did console him with the idea that if by a miracle the tracks remained dry in Oct I would love to do this route again.

The next long climb up to butts brow seemed so easy this day (perhaps I have got fitter after all) and I had plenty of breathe to chat with Duncan most of the way up. We both agreed that this has been a brilliant mtb season. We really don’t want to end.

Sadly we soon reached the end of the trail but had fun descending the zig zags from Beachy Head before indulging in a couple of pints at the ‘Pilot’.

This was a brilliant days riding. Although I do enjoy the ride to Brighton, I must admit that I actually prefer doing it this way round. So I think next year I will try to organise us riding it in both directions.

Thanks to all who came out and helped make it such a fun day.

Steve C

Part Deux - Pre BBR & BBR Saturday 17th Sept

Rickney Marshes - 11:22 a.m

'Hunt!'

A voice behind me boomed out and my shoulders froze - who had I upset now? - I then immediately spotted the mass of horses, tweed and dogs up ahead.

'Oh 'hunt!', that's a relief.

We had no choice but to stop and allow the group to pass by; there must have been at least 50 muddy dogs, who seemed to be having a great time; panting and wagging their tails with great enthusiasm as they pushed past.  The hunters themselves were very polite and thanked us for stopping; although we didn't have a lot of choice.  I'm not sure what kind of hunt this is, but I've also seen, bizarrely, the same group on mountain bikes over the winter! .

I was at the front of our group with Nigel and headed for Chilley Farm.

Once we had recovered from this interruption we got on to the subject of my helmet - again!

'Have you bought one yet' I asked Nigel ' only you said you liked it, and if you buy one it might stop the relentless p*ss taking I'm getting (particularly off Lord 'B' and Peter 'B')'

'It's not really fair is it?, he replied, I mean it's not as if you take the p*ss out of anyone is it?'

'Yes, quite right' I said.

Earlier............

Normans Bay Crossing - 07:44

I was particularly pleased to see Lord Buckland - it is a long while since I have seen him on a Pre BBR .  Also in attendance were Mal C, Mal D, Darren, Adam and also a newbie called Gareth

There wasn't much to report on the ride up to Beachy, accept to say that try as he might Lord 'B' was unable to shake me off, and I took great delight in slip streaming him on the final stretch to the car park - although, very tactfully I didn't pass him.

'Squeal, piggy, squeal', I taunted him as I sat on his wheel.

And received a response far too rude for this blog!

As usual I took a few snaps outside the 'bogs' then we headed back into a fierce headwind.  I was quite relieved to enter the zig-zags and get away from it.

Just outside Pevensey Bay a bus driver was 'busting a gut' to get past us - which eventually he did, but then braked, abruptly and without warning at a bus stop once he had squeezed past.  This really angered Mal D who went into 'meltdown'.  He swung past him onto the other side of the road, towards oncoming traffic, maneuvered himself through a gap about two foot wide and then swung back onto our side of the road narrowly avoiding a serious case of 'hari kari'!  We all exhaled together in relief that he hadn't got squashed and carried on towards Bexhill.

'I'm not sure what happened to the new guy?' said Adam, he seemed to get slower and slower and then just disappeared'.

I must admit to feeling some guilt about this, I mean it's his first time out with us and we didn't exactly take great care of him - I think 'The Colonel' would be less than impressed with us.  My only defence would be that on the way up to Beachy he was going really well.  He did hang around at the back ( but this is quite normal for a newbie, it takes a lot of confidence to ride on the front on your first outing with a new group - in fact it was week three before I dared to go on the front with my new club in France.), but then at the foot of the real climb he shot past me like a 'rat up a drain pipe'; so I didn't have any concerns about his fitness.  However, if you are reading this please accept our apologies for not waiting for you and if you would like to ride with us again next week Lord 'B' will buy you a 'Full English' by way of compensation.

Once we had got onto Sluice Lane Tom (who had joined us at the top of Beachy) and Mal D decided to put the 'hammer down'.  I'm not sure what was going on behind us, but Darren and I gave chase and hung on as best we could - Darren had the edge over me by a few meters as we neared the Bexhill lights, but we both resorted to cheating to beat them back to Di Paulos by taking the right turn just before the lights.

' Any idiot can take a short cut!', said an embittered Tom.

This in no way deflated Darren and I, and we swaggered into the cafe.

As usual there was a good turnout.  Steve C was there having put his MB into mothballs for the winter.

I was particularly pleased to see Ian return again for more punishment.  He didn't have a great time last week so it was great that he hadn't given up and was prepared to give it another go.

'I didn't want you lot thinking I was 'a one hit wonder', he said to me later at Chilley.

We set off on time.

'Have you bought another new bike this week, Steve?' I asked sarcastically.

'Funny you should say that! - I looked at a full suspension MTB, but they didn't have it in my size', he replied cheerfully.

I don't know how many bikes he has but it must be a lot.

As usual the group split into two at the turn for Tilley Lane.

I chose the 'Nouveau Classico' route again along with Andy C, Nigel, Ian and Mal C - I've got a feeling I've forgotten someone (so apologies if it is you.)

Nigel and I arrived at Chilley ahead of the rest and ordered our grub, and as we sat down he spotted the couple at the next table who had Bromptons. Very kindly they let him have a go on one as he had explained that he was thinking of buying one for his commutes to London.  Watching him play around on it I was very much reminded of the scene in 'Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid' where Paul Newman rides around to the accompaniment of 'Rain drops keep falling on my head'; i was even tempted to take the place of Katherine Ross and sit astride the cross bar! (those under the age of 50 may wish to ignore this paragraph.)

When the food arrived I felt a massive pang of envy as Nigel had ordered a sausage bap and it had three sausages in it! - I would have easily swapped my egg and bacon bap for it and shall defo order one next week.

The best thing about a BBR is that at the food stop we all sit around and talk rubbish and take the p*ss out of everybody, and this week was no exception,  and I shall certainly look forward to doing the whole thing again next week!

Peter Buss

PART DEUX - Pre BBR & BBB 'Back on home soil'

 Thursday 1st Sept, 16:31 - Normans Bay

'Harrumph, murhh, murhh'

'You've started already, haven't you? , you've been back five minutes and you've started already!'

'Started what?'
'Moaning!'
'Well it's hardly my fault is it? - blame Maurice Wilks!'
'Who?'
'Maurice Wilks - he designed the Land Rover which then evolved into the Range Rover.  You know the driver is legally allowed to kill cyclists once he obtains his 'licence to kill' badge?'
'What are you on about?'
'The 'licence to kill' badges, which the DVLC euphemistically call personalised number plates - it's a lethal combination.  Mind you, my brother (who lives in Windlsham, Surrey) says it's much worse there - he said his local Waitrose is 'rammed' with them'.

I've just arrived home after a very pleasant ride over Beachy Head with Neil followed by a walk along the beach with Poppy, and I'm having a nice cup of Tetley with Vicki.
There's a big hole appeared in the 'chicane' (the part of Coast Road that narrows down - with passing places- just after the crossing in the direction of Pevensey) and I've just had two drivers careering towards me before turning sharply right just in time - this is to save them waiting 2 milliseconds to let me go past when it's their side of the road that's blocked (to be fair, only one was a RR.)

When coming back to the UK you realise what a congested little island we are (not just returning from abroad; Neil said as much on returning from Somerset.)
'Did I moan much in France?' , I asked Vicki.
'Not at all', she assured me.
Q.E.D, then, I only moan in England and it's mostly about cars and impatient drivers - oh, and Michael Buble (the man who takes 'smarmy' to new heights.)
In France you don't really see any RRs; apart from the one blocking the narrow medieval road where the bank in Clairac sits.  The driver pulled up, got out his wallet to use the cash machine and when the poor lady sat behind him indicated she would like to get past, he pointed to the half a meter wide gap he had left as if to say 'What is wrong with you, cant you see I'm busy and much more important than you?'

The above is very much the exception in France, but it's not necessarily that all French drivers are more courteous it's just that there is much more room on the road for bikes and cars.  In fact I got knocked off my bike by a tractor.  He followed me for some time and then tried to ease past me even though the trailer he was towing was wider than the road.  The trailer had a giant reel of cable on it, which sat on a base with really wide wheels, and as he went past the wheel that was hanging in mid-air steered me into the ditch.  He did at least stop and look through his little rear window:
'Your load is too wide!', I said
But he seemed to take it as a compliment and smiled.  I must look up the French word for ***ker.

Saturday 3rd Sept, 07:44 - Normans Bay Crossing
First group ride with the club since coming back after 8 weeks in France and I'm really looking forward to it.  I wasn't sure if anyone would be there, so it was relief to see Gary and Mal D waiting.
Shortly afterwards we were joined by Andy Ashby.
'Mind if I tag along?', he politely asked .
Just short of the start of the Beachy climb, Andy said:
'I can see a Hastings shirt up ahead'
I was really impressed with this because I could just about make out a shadowy figure which could have been a cyclist, but 'not in a million years' would I have worked out what he was wearing.  It transpired that he was right and it was Andy C.

Shortly after this a dog ran out in front of us, bearing in mind it nearly caused a 'pile up' I thought an apology from the owner might have been appropriate - still never mind.
It was as I watched Gary and Mal ease ahead that I realised that the high altitude training in SW France hadn't really paid off.  Andy A also kept a discreet distance ahead of me, but Andy C who was thinking about breakfast, and was just 'chilling' kept a discreet distance behind me.
Assembled at the top I got Andy A to take some pics - he wasn't allowed to be in them because he was the only one not wearing kit.

'I'm going off ahead of you lot because I want my breakfast', said Andy C, 'but feel free to go past me'
He set off at a pace and we followed on shortly afterwards.
I gave it some 'welly' on the descent and led the others down the 'zig zags', but it wasn't until we were back on the seafront did we catch up with Andy C who by this time had a tummy that was rumbling audibly.  On the way down to the pier I saw a young lady in front and saw it as a challenge to try and go past her.  Eventually I did get past but only after exerting maximum effort - it's a male pride thing - pathetic, I know.  About five minutes later she passed us on the east side of the pier.
Once at the Pevensey lights Mal announced he was going via Normans Bay to save his legs for the BBR and took Andy C with him.

For most of the rest of the ride back I gallantly allowed Andy A and Gary to 'shoulder' the responsibility of being on the front - there is an unwritten rule on the Pre BBR that says:  'he who is not doing the BBR must take the lead all the way back to Di Paulos'.
It had been a rapid pace again - about 19mph - and once back at the aforementioned cafe I could see a few had got there early.
I spotted the older of the 'fun chums' on his own:
'What is it this time I pondered? - another trial seperation, irreconcilable differences, a 'tiff'.
'Where's Pat today?' I asked.
'Oh, he's doing his own thing', he replied
I stood in the queue behind Andy C.
'I'll have scrambled eggs and a sausage' he said ' No, I'll tell you what - make that two sausages'

Outside our group was growing rapidly; two newbies were in attendance: Corelia - who does short triathlons -  and Paul who completed the Ride London recently.  The Colonel, as usual was not giving his scrambled eggs the attention they deserved and was focusing on more erudite things that eating.
'We're doing the usual BBR route but via Catsfield, some will go via Tilley lane and some will take the more direct route over the marshes' he informed me.
'It's called the 'BBR Nouveau Classico' said Peter B
'I hope my breakfast turns up soon, otherwise I won't have time to eat it' said a concerned Andy C.
He needn't have worried as it arrived in plenty of time.

It was really good to see Stuart 'Lord B' Buckland, who explained that he hadn't been cycling lately due to gout brought on by drinking too much port and eating game that hadn't been 'hung' for long enough.  In fact it was good to see Mal C, Matt S and Stuart all on the same ride (albeit the BBR) as the four of us were the 'founding fathers' of the Pre BBR.

As is traditional, there is much re-grouping on a BBR, and whilst waiting at a crossroads in Catsfield wth Peter B we encountered a women sitting on her horse.
'There's quite a few more more of us' said Pete, 'but don't worry we'll be quiet.'
'Yes, well, that's the problem though, isn't it?, the horses don't hear you coming!, she said abruptly.
'O.K, we'll make a lot of noise, then!'
Sensing Pete was getting a bit agitated, I made a suggestion:
'How about we just make conversation at a medium level as we approach?'
We pushed on as a group until the regular stop at the garage on the top of Boreham Hill, where I took some snaps (please note Pete B looking like Prisclla 'Queen of the Desert')

A few including, Mal C went via Tilley Lane, but I went with the majority of the group on the shorter route.

About half a mile from the left turn at the garden center Peter appeared to be outraged that a girl had overtaken him - as he wasn't on the Pre BRR he wasn't aware of the fact that this was the same girl who I had first passed on the way down from 'Beachy'.  He immediately gave chase and caught her just before the turn off.  I mean how pathetic was that? - allowing male pride to get the better of him - but having said that this was a clear case of female pride on display, as well.

Over the marshes Pete and I led the group back to Chilley Farm - and I must admit feeling a sense of pride arriving back first - perhaps the altitude training was working after all!  (or maybe the others weren't really trying as hard).
We were all  surprised to see Nigel waiting at a table in the shade.
'Why didn't you join us on the ride?' I asked
'Well, to be honest all my decent gear is in the wash and I was forced to wear these old Aldi 'Nut Crushers' - he tugged at the gusset to emphasis the discomfort - they're OK for short rides but I couldn't risk doing the whole of the BBR.'

After a good ol' bit of 'banter' and some decent grub, I made my way back to the roundabout with some of the others.  The Colonel pulled alongside:
'It's been a great social occasion today, I've really enjoyed it', he said 'although I did have problems with a double puncture and a faulty valve'

Back home I basked in the warm 'glow' that follows a good ride and felt pleased to be back in Normans Bay - I love France but I love it here as well - a great dilemma to have, I must admit.

Peter Buss

27/28 Aug -Margate Weekender

A few years back I organised a weekend road trip to Margate partly based on sustrans recommended roads.

Only Ivan could pedal a 29er for 155 miles

To make up for the cancellation of our french trip this year, myself, Malc C, malc D decided to repeat the event.

Day one involved cycling a twisty  85 mile route across the marsh while day two would be a hillier but more direct 60 mile route inland.

Mother nature was being unkind, as on the Saturday the wind was an easterly while on Sunday the wind was an westerly. This meant two days of unavoidable headwind even if we reversed the routes.

Riding on the main road towards Lydd we were suffering badly as we battered into the coastal winds. . I resigned myself to another 70 miles of misery but thankfully once we reached Lydd the route took us away from the coast and the wind was far easier.

We had all day to get to Margate so treated ourselves to coffee and cake at a fancy tea shop called lathe barn. Ivan thought it was too upmarket for us but I rather liked it (moving up in the world).

lathe barn tea shop (Oh how posh!)

Suitably refreshed we headed on towards Folkstone. Here the wind picked up once again. Having done mostly mtb this summer I was really struggling with the angle of my head relative to the road and was getting terrible neck pain (partly due to wearing spectacles), this was made worse by straining my neck to paint a ceiling a couple of days before.I was the only rider with the route on a GPS but Malc D has an innate sense of direction so I was happy to let Malc navigate through the town. However somehow we ended up going the wrong way down a one way street and only realised when a large van was heading straight towards us. Fortunately van and bikes stopped in time but we received a right ear bashing from 'white van man ' whose favourite word appeared to be w***er

All smiles after climbing out of Dover

There is a really steep climb out of Folkstone before joining a 'secret' C road to  Dover. This runs  directly parallel to the horrible dual carriage way but you would never know it was so near as there is a huge escarpment  between them which blocks out all noise and sights of this traffic hell. The country side around her is amazing and untouched so we barely saw a single car all the way to Dover . There we found a great coffee house where the proprietor really new his coffee (imported directly from Nicaragua) and the food helpings were so generous we had to sit back and allow some digestion before we could face moving on. While waiting I loosened my stem bolts and tilted the hoods up a little. What a difference this made, my neck pain was gone  and did not trouble me from then on.

We now had to climb up that long steep hill that the castle is perched on top of. I really enjoyed this climb as the castle is an awesome thing to look at and was surprised when the others said they had never visited it (best castle in England)

From Dover we criss crossed one way and then another as we followed the traffic free  route. However, this made us feel that we were not getting any closer to Margate. The others were beginning to tire but now free of  neck pain I was actually feeling more energetic. The highlight of this particular section was passing through the village of Sandwhich. There was a carnival/festival going on with a rock and roll band playing in the town center. We really wanted to stay for a few beers and soak up the atmosphere but with 15 miles to go we thought it prudent to continue on.

The roads in Kent are in better condition than east Sussex but this one is the exception

Eventually we arrived at Margate where voice commands from the my android phone in my back pocket successfully directed  us to our hotel.

Margate has a lot of potential but despite fast growing house prices, it is a bit of a dump. After showering we walked along the seafront expecting to find lots of pubs and places to eat (as you do back home) but could only find one pub, a kebab shop and a small restaurant. The pub was good fun, the locals were friendly and it was great to see them enjoying themselves singing karyoke. The restaurant closed early but the kebab shop came to our rescue.

The next day it was time to head home. Despite feeling tired from the Saturday it felt somewhat easier riding home (25 miles less tyhan the saturday) and we even had sufficient energy for  a couple of beers in Rye where yet another festival was taking place.

We really enjoyed this weekend trip. Just staying away for one night makes it feel like a proper holiday. We will do another weekender next year but will give Margate a rest for a couple of years and head to Rochester instead.

Steve C

PART DEUX - En Francais 'Mon Nouveu Club ' Sunday 14th August 08:30 - Somewhere north of Tonniens

 My first comfort break on my first outing with The Tonniens Cyclotourisme Club.

I had made it a goal since spending extended time here to cycle with a local club.  I don't really like doing long trips on my own -  I'm used to the camaraderie and banter associated with cycling with HSLCC and find cycling on my own a bit dole - and also I feel safer in a group (in case of 'mechanicals' and getting lost.)

I had met a solo Cat 2 rider a couple of weeks a go who advised me that The Tonniens Club meet at the swimming pool every Saturday at 08:30. - this was wrong on all three 'counts'.  I had called into the cycling shop just outside Tonniens the next day to buy some inner tubes and the owner had given me an information sheet showing that they meet at 08:00, every Sunday, outside The Marie!! (Town Hall.)

I was impressed with the information sheet because it showed the route for all the rides in August:  a long ride or a shorter version with a bit missed out.  The short rides are about 40 miles and the longer ones about 60 miles.

Earlier......

I had arrived in plenty of time and sat on the bench in my HSLCC kit waiting to see who arrived.  Just before 8 a.m  riders of all ages and description started pulling up; with one thing in common they were all French and none of them spoke much English - if any.  

They seemed to regard me as a bit of an oddity, but all shook my hand when they arrived.  I felt like it was my first day at 'big school'.  I went around 'Je m'appelle'ing ' my a@se off, before realising that nobody was asking me my name.   There is a edge of formality in France and people don't necessarily offer their name immediately or ask for yours.   It didn't really matter whether they told me their name or not as all French men's names are double barreled and start with Jean i.e Jean-Claude, Jean-Pierre, etc, I was told this by my neighbour Jea- Michele.  

One guy asked me in French what my average speed was.  It was a simple question but I got a bit confused between MPH and KPH.

'Seize kilometers a l'heure' -  I obviously meant 16 miles an hour.

'I zinc you ride wiv me', he said

Having told him my average speed was 12 MPH, he , not surprisingly,  wasn't overly impressed.

The mass hand shaking delayed the start by at least 5 minutes , but eventually I set off with the slower group.  I was feeling good, and looking forward to the ride, but inside I knew I wanted to be with the first group.

It was quite a leisurely ride until we encountered the first hill - this was 'setting your stool out' time.  I found that without too much effort I could arrive at the top with the front of the group, and I stayed mostly at the front for the whole ride.

During the ride several of the riders attempted to make conversation with me, but I knew I was hard work.  I'm fairly happy with the progress I'm making in learning French, but when fully immersed in a totally French group I found it difficult to understand much of what was said.  Some seemed more determined than others to extract some conversation from me:

'Where are you coming from?"

'J'habite in Est Sussex, mais Je reste in Clairac pour le deux dernier moins'

'Pres de Brighton?"

'Oui'

' You must know......(name escapes me)!'

'Non, pardon'

'Oh, stronge! - zay leeve in Brighton and yet you do not know zem?'

Anyway, after about 40 miles and a few hills we were back in Clairac.

One of the guys ( I didn't know his name, but assumed it was Jean)  bade me follow him home and said he would go through some paperwork with me. I felt encouraged by this because it obviously showed that he was happy for me to ride with them again.

Back at his house he opened a bottle of chilled Perrier, which tasted like champagne, and introduced me to his wife who is also the club treasurer (she also cycles with the club.)

The thing about French is that as well as sounding strange the hand writing also looks odd with different flourishes on some of the numbers and letters so that I had problems reading email addresses and telephone numbers; and they had the same problem with mine (although my hand writing is appalling at the best of times.)

His wife explained that I could join the club and start paying subscriptions in September when the new season starts.  I am pleased to have found a group of riders whom I can cycle on Sunday mornings, and also they do organise trips - to the Pyrenees, in June, in particular.  They do have a smart blue and yellow kit, but like HSLCC, most of them don't wear it.  One surprising aspect of joining the club is that it does require a doctor's letter to say you are fit to cycle and then you get a photo I.D.  There was an amusing incident when the wife was scrutinising my mobile number with a look of uncertainty on her face:

'Zis will not work 'ere in France, it 'as too many nermbers'

'It is an English mobile so you have to dial 0044', I explained.

Unconvinced, she tapped in the number on her mobile  We all waited silently in anticipation for the phone to ring -  there was a pregnant pause that lasted ages which allowed the tension to build.

'BRRRR,BRRRR,BRRRR'

We all 'jumped'  in shock, looked at each other, and started giggling.

Having given her all my details, I said I must be going.  She looked at her husband and asked how I was getting back.

'I'll go back along the main road to Clairac'

'You must go wiv 'im, it is very dongerous'

He nodded and smiled in agreement and put his helmet back on. By this time - about 12:30 P.M - the sun was really beating down and I felt touched that he was happy to accompany me back via a safer route.

He led through some back roads and onto the Voie Vert (I had been on this from Clairac, but hadn't managed to locate it going the other way.)  He led me over this quite hilly route until almost back at Clairac, and then he said farewell.

I expressed my gratitude and said, in bad French:

'I don't know your name'

'Jacqui', he replied (well it starts with a 'J' anyway)

When I got home Vicki was having lunch on the shady terrace with Isabelle (the friend who was staying with us),  I pulled along side and slumped over my bike, panting for breath.

'It was that tough then?', Vicki said.

'No, the ride was O.K it's the drive that does me every time'

I have mentioned it before but the short haul from the gate to the house would be classified as unclassified if it was classified at all - If in doubt ask Matt Schubert who punched the air in triumph after he negotiated it on his recent visit.


Sunday 21st August

11:30 a.m - Lafitte-Sur-Lot

'Arrettez!, arretez!.....STOP!'

The cry went out from one of the French cyclists following my puncture near the end of my second outing with the club, and it confirmed my theory that the French have two words for 'stop' .

Two of my fellow riders took control of the situation and fixed the puncture for me, I just supplied the 'chambre d'air' and they did the rest - even pumping the tyre up for me.  I was very grateful for this and was again touched by their kindness.  The older of the two - a guy in his late 60s or early 70s, wiped his greasy hands on the grass and I shook his hand.  He was an amazing rider for his age; looking like a coat hanger wrapped in lycra with brown boney legs but honed muscles.

Earlier.......

I arrived 10 minutes early for my second outing with the club feeling much more relaxed than I had the previous week.

Some of the familiar faces arrived including Jacqui and his wife:

'I can confirm zat you can join zee cloobe after you 'ave seen zee doctor', she said

Another guy pulled alongside me who spoke good English.  He was riding a Pinerello 'Dogma'.

'I love the bike', I said

'Eeetz the sam bike zat Chris Froome rides', he said with pride ( I would be proud as well).

He told me that he was an estate agent.

'You must sell a lot of houses' (I thought to myself)

After the usual mass hand shaking I watched the 'Premier Group' set off head off - destination Pujols.

The guy on the Pinarello gestured for me to ride with him

'Are you sure?', I relied

'We 'ave discussed you and zinc you should ride wiv erse'

Well I have to say my chest swelled with pride.  I didn't dare to glance back at Jacqui and just hoped he was part of the decision.

This was an altogether different pace to last week and I immersed myself in the pack of 10 riders and hoped I didn't disgrace myself.

The first real test was on the fairly steep incline up to Grateloup.

One of the group pulled alongside.

'Are you O.K, monsieur, it eez not too turf?

'No, I'm O.K, thank you'

'Oh, O.K I'll shall now go on a ed'

He tried to pull away, but we carried on at the same speed - this is my 'stomping ground' and I was feeling good.

Once on flatter ground he said.

'Today we will do a very long ride - quatre vingt dix kilometres, and it eez very 'illy'

'No problem, the same as my rides in England.' (sometimes!)

I did struggle at times but I was never dropped and was usually in the middle of the group.

Halfway through the ride the leader called things to a halt because someone at the back had a problem.  I cycled back to see what was happening and they were looking for an allen key.  I was amazed to see that most of them didn't have any saddle bags and none of them appeared to have any tools!

I pulled out my multi tool to cries of:

'Bravo!'

Ten minutes later another of the group had a problem with a dropped saddle, again I produced my tool and saved the day.

Overall the ride was probably similar to a Pre BBR Brighton Special, but I loved the experience of riding with a new group. Even though the language is an issue at times, cycling is cycling whether it's France or England.

I found it interesting to compare cycling with HSLCC and the Tonniens club.  The age range is similar i.e mostly middle aged men.  Strava is unknown to them; some use Garmin software, but mostly they just seem to have small bike computers, but they all have top carbon bikes.  There is not much hand signalling going on but then there aren't many pot holes (I've hardly seen any), and there is much less traffic - only occasionally do you hear a cry of  'voiture'.

Although I've only been out with them twice I do feel they have accepted me, and I feel I have earned some respect through keeping on the pace (and also for owning a multi-tool.)

For me the pleasure of living here is partly the old cliche of the slower pace of life, consistently great weather and the outside lifestyle, but also the richness of the experience and the discoveries to be made.

Some of the highlights would be Matt Schubert and his family spending the day with us and taking him on my 'Grateloup Loop' and then diving in the pool afterwards.  This was followed by a BBQ with great food prepared by Vicki. The night market at La Parade - a truly amazing event with about a 1000 people! -  great food, live music, stools selling local crafts and loads of cheap wine.  The Rock Concert, also at La Parade - similar atmosphere, but more intimate. The band were called 'Les Blues Meggedon' and they sang great rock and blues all in English!.


 Mostly, now, we just chill out, having spent the first few weeks constructing a new front garden.   Low point for me would be discovering that a lot of the newly laid slabs had not stuck because I hadn't made the 'muck' wet enough and meant I had to relay them the next day.  Memorable moment: watching a small song bird feeding on insects in our garden being swooped on and carted off squealing by a huge hunting bird to be eaten alive - what a cruel bitch Mother Nature can be.

Anyway, I'm back for a few weeks on the 31st Aug and very much looking forward to a BBR, a Chain Gang and meeting up with old friends.

Peter Buss

6/8 Ditchling Beacon to Chanctonbury Ring

I have passed Ditchling Beacon on a mountain bike many times but never driven to it . This was the start point however for Steves latest new route.

I had no idea how to get to it but Steve was going to navigate on his mobile and so we set off with Ivan and Malc behind in Ivans van.No sooner had we got to bexhill bypass when Ivan whisked past  me at the lights.So they were still ahead at Brighton bypass but missed the turn so we turned at next junction . As soon as we were on the right road they then missed the left turn. Turned around again and then missed the next left turn.We arrived to find Duncan and Paul already .
Already the car park was packed with walkers and para gliders taking off just outside car park.

Brief stop at Chanctonbury Ring

No climb to the top this time so off we went down hill but as always with the downs the long descents are followed by long climbs but in good time we were at Chanctonbury Ring an old hill fort. There is nothing to see there but Steve assures me it is there but just covered up. He then gave us a history lesson on ancient Rome with some very strange facts not suitable for publication. I suggest you ask him if you want to know more. Quick photo then off again.

How am I supposed to ride over this?

From here there is a very steep descent which is narrow and covered in tree routes but as it was dry this not a problem. The wood at the foot of the hill was a problem as shaded and very wet and a large tree had fallen across the path meaning a four foot climb over branches trying to carry a bike which weighs twice what a road bike weighs.

Our stop was at Partridge Green . I had not realised this was the place we had stopped on our Downs link ride a few weeks ago. It is a velo cafe with sensible prices but much to Malcs disgust no ability to make scrambled eggs. Apparently its all about what type of hot plate you have.When I last visited with Steve and Malc we all said we would not make the mistake of having coffee and cakes with loads of sugar . So what did we do, you guessed. To put it right some had egg and bacon rolls ( Duncan having 2 as they got Ivans order wrong )  so thats ok then. We had also decided not to stay so long this time but after and hour sitting in the sun!!!!!.

A happy hour at Stan's Velo cafe 

We were off and following the downs link but Malc had this plan to go off route and cycle along the river bank. Some gates to climb over and hard going on grass into a strong wind but after a few stiles we were on a dirt track beside the river and good going. It was here we came across a dog walker with 2 dogs not on leads that decided to chase a herd of cows. It's weird how what looks like a nice dog can change into an aggressive monster in these circs. They ended up stampeding the herd in our direction . The others had passed but me and Steve had them hurtling towards us. They turned just before they got to us but bit scary. The dog owner is lucky as  his dogs could have been shot. There's me trying to tell Andy F to take up MTB to avoid Audi's !!!

We were at Bramber a village we love. From there its a massive ascent to Truleigh Hill and from there a short up and down ride back to Ditchling. Normally we would stop for a beer but I said I have to get back.  Ivan pulled an undertaking trick that had me behind him again . Another great day with great weather and a good route.

Derek