Part Deux - Pre BBR & BBR - Saturday 3rd Oct- "Gourmet Special"

09:12 - Outside the 'bogs', top of Beachy Head.

(Warning: contains infantile content likely to upset the more adult members of the club.)

Outside The Beachy Head Bogs!

"I see you're wearing the 'old' Hastings kit then?"

This was a clever piece of wordplay on behalf of Patrick who was referring to the fact that I wasn't modelling the 'new' orange prototype from Tenn that I had been regularly for the last few weeks.

"No, I replied, it's in the wash."

"Oh, you mean they don't wash it for you?", he said with just a touch of sarcasm.

"Oh, no I couldn't risk that, what with the inherent risks associated with rapid braking". I said euphemistically.

You see I've only recently taken to riding commando style; I've always felt more 'secure' wearing an M and S undergarment.

It was only when I was out with young Mr Buckland a few months that I realised the error of my ways. I'd asked him if we could pull over as I was suffering major discomfort. After stopping he hopped off his bike, stood hand on hips - a bit like ' Flash' in 'Black Adder' and stared at me in dismay.

"Please tell me your not wearing pants", he demanded.

I tugged furiously at my gusset trying to prise some folds of delicate, wrinkled skin away from the seam of my M and S briefs.

"Oh, jeeze these pants are killing me", I said with watery eyes.

"Take it from me, stop wearing pants when cycling." he said with some authority.

Eventually, I managed to obtain a level of comfort and we carried on up Borham Hill.

He was right and I took his advice - such a wise old head on such young shoulders.

07:45 Normans Bay Border Crossing.

I must admit to turning up 5 minutes late -  bearing in mind I only live 200 meters away this was disgraceful and as I had absolutely no excuse I didn't bother offering one - just a simple apology.

As well as Mal C, it was great to see Patrick and Greg - two club legends who I hadn't seen for some time.

We got off to a shaky start because first of all my Oakleys steamed up - and I had to stop to take them off (being goggles they have a strap they goes around the back of my head under my chin strap requiring that I remove my helmet first - just thought I'd clear that up), then Mal C, as well as needing a 'leak' was suffering with 'technicals': his chain was dropping off with alarming regularity, and although he demonstrated great dexterity in getting it engaged with the sprockets again by doing a kind of shuffle with the pedals, he was showing the patience of Job - I would have yanked it off and whacked it against the kerb stone - all inanimate objects deserve a good thrashing now and again.

Most weeks when Tom N is taking part in a pre BBR he has a habit of just 'popping up' - this Saturday was no exception and I was not really that surprised when I saw him coming towards down Upper Dukes Drive when I was approaching the top. He sort of swung around and jumped on my wheel while offering really useful advice such as: "Nearly there, Pete, keep going", yeah, cheers Tom.

Once assembled at the top we took a bit of time to take in the view.  What was strange was that the top of 'Beachy' was crystal clear while down below was really murky - normally it is the opposite.

Once I had taken some snaps for the blog we set off for De Pauolos.

It was good to see Mal D turn up as fairly recently he had been involved in the taumatic incident in the woods at Bedgebury.  He arrived at 5 minutes to ten and ordered coffee and egg on toast: bit cheeky but we 'let him off'.

Also,in attendance, along with the Pre BBRers were Matt, Derek, Steve C and Steve D and Finley,

Steve D's Beautiful New Lime Green Planet X

The ride to Chilley was, as usual, without too much incident; although a highlight for me was the speed at which Steve D passed me going up Peatree Lane - all I saw was a flash of lime green!; he explained to me later on that it was because he didn't have any 'hill climbing gear' on his fairly new 'dream machine' and needed to get out of the pedals and 'go for it' - I suspect it was because he had heard that the 'Sausage Shop' in Catsfield had some special offers (Sorry, Steve I know that I'm pushing my luck and I don't wish to start another 'sausagegate' - here is a link for anyone who is interested The Sausage Shop.) http://www.thesausageshop.info/

Bacon Butties For Patrick!

I always find the ride across the marshes to Chilley quite a spiritual experience and it is my favorite route in the area; although it is always fraught with danger.  When cycling along this road it always pays to expect the unexpected, but even so I was quite amazed by the sight of a van with a metal structure on the back containing a spare wheel; it was sticking out out into the road well beyond the normal width of the vehicle - just right for decapitating a cyclist! - in the words of Victor Meldrew - un-be-lievable!

..And For Malc

Although we had regrouped several times, along the final few miles to Chilley, we became very spread out.  I was at the front with Mal D and Patrick and managed to stick on their wheels for some considerable time before conceding that they were just a bit too quick and dropped off to finish at my own more leisurely pace. Having placed our orders Mal D, Patrick, Matt and I sat at one table, and the others sat on the bench under the canopy and were joined by Shirley   who had recently completed a John o Groats to Lands End mega adventure - respect!!

Despite Being October, Its Still Sunny Enough For Shades!

Whilst tucking into my usual bacon and egg bap I looked over at Steve C on the bench who seemed to be suffering - his head was in his hands and he looked really uncomfortable; I concluded that the wait for his food order was just a bit too long and he was in 'meltdown'.  Quick to act I held up the 'worm' of bacon rind that was left on my plate and offered it to him:

"Steve would you like this?",

"No, it's O.K , thanks", he replied.

His face, however told a completely different story as his tongue swept across his lips and his eyes went all big.

Steve Despairs Over The Long Wait For Tea And Eccles Cake!

"Well it's here if you need it", I reassured him.

'Cream Tea' With Coke Is Heresy!

Once satiated we set off again. Tom followed me back home via The Bakery in Pevensey Bay (Tom was interested in seeing the decking I have built for myself and my neighbors and is thinking of having his own garden decked with my guidance).

 The nice young lady in the shop recognized me and said:





"Two lemon dougnuts, in a plastic bag so that you can tie them to your handlebars?"

"Correctomondo!"

(I didn't really say that, I'm not that much of an a*se)

"Yes, please", I replied.

It was then that I noticed Tom's face pressed up against the window.  I pointed at the array of cakes and silently mouthed the words:

"Would you like one?"

He pointed at the pain o chocolate whilst giving me a little smile.  We took the cakes home to share with Vicki and washed them down with coffee whilst reflecting on another happy little cycling adventure.  Please come and join us.

Peter Buss