Wednesday Chain Gang - Festive Fairy Light Frolics

Fairy spectacular!

I think that, in all, 25 riders turned out on a warm, balmy evening (by December's standards), for a brisk chain gang followed by a beer or two in Bexhill. Half a dozen or so had decorated their bikes with fairy lights, and some also had lights wound about their personage. Peter Buss came dressed as a chicken. No, I don't know why. Stewart says he looked like the robber penguin in Wallace and Gromit, but that's not very kind.

There was much banter and mock insult throwing before the off, with Steve C choreographing photographs (an excuse for more verbal abuse between the riders) and lots of fiddling with dodgy switches on cheap lights. It was great to see Sue Landy out for her first chain gang, admittedly feeling 'terrified', but she's a strong rider and had a good night. We hope we see you again Sue!

Having seen the ultras on their way, we waited whilst Steve ''David Bailey' Curtis took more photos, and waited again whilst he packed away his gear, and then we were finally off in a large group of 15 or so riders. A faster front group split away quite early, but was then caught by another group as we pushed on across the marshes. There were all sorts of groupings thereafter as riders fall back or caught up. Not the neatest outward chain, but good fun.

The return was a mass start and the pace soon span up to a fast back return leg, again in fractured groups. I fell in with Simon G, JV, Stewart and Dan. We overtook one group that included Sue and Nick (without his pink shorts this time), then worked well together along Herbrand and the first part of Cooden Drive. Stewart took the front and Simon G jokingly said 'leave him out there, so he doesn't burn us off up Cooden Lump'. It seems Stewart took exception to this and put in a spurt that opened a 40 metre gap.

Lord Buss is auditioning for the  next Ardman film!

I didn't think this was very 'corporate', to borrow a term from my office, so I came off the back of the group to lead an attack on the villainous Lord Buckland. He turned to sneer at us, an evil Dick Dastardly glint in his eye, and then raised a provocative finger in a defiant salute. This spurred me on further and I shouted encouragement to my fellow riders - 'let's get the bastard'. I heard the laughter of a maniac ahead, but I was gaining on him, edging a metre closer every few seconds. But then, the road conspired against me - the Cooden Lump reared up and slowed me down sufficiently for Stewart to escape, and for the others to pull past me too. Really must work on my hills...

We glided into the group at the traffic lights as the rain began to fall more heavily, so a good number of us adjourned to the pub, as planned, for a Christmas drink. It's always good to have a bit more time than usual to talk to fellow club members, about the ride, bikes old and new, jobs, plans for Christmas or the next 'big ride'. Suitably refreshed, I helped Peter Buss back onto his bike and began the ride back to the nursing home, in a strengthening breeze and drizzly rain.

God, he was slow and I was cold after the warmth of the bar. We crawled along Bexhill front, until Peter shouted that he thought his brakes were jammed on. He thought lack of use might have led to them seizing up, but I suspected foul play from Peter Baker, arch mischief-maker and saboteur. Otherwise, why didn't his brakes seize up earlier? Rumbled, Mr Baker!

We released the side levers and our rate of progress improved, but it was suddenly a miserable ride in crappy weather. The red, blue and green fairy lights on my crossbar refracted through the raindrops on my glasses in a kaleidoscope of colour, making it impossible to see where I was going. I peered over them as we ground our way along Herbrand, looking forward to riding home with the wind behind me and at a pace that would warm me up.

Peter's antlers drooped in the rain at the border crossing, no longer the proud and upstanding 'Le Coq' so admired by Stewart at the start of the evening. Rain dripped off our helmets and soaked through the shoulders of our shirts. Time for home and warm food, even though it was by now 10pm.

There will be a chain gang next week, on Wednesday 23rd, the perfect prelude to your Christmas festivities. At this rate, it should be around 18 degrees, so get your legs out for Santa.

Rides this weekend include the 'Brighton Special', leaving Normans Bay at 07:50 (arrive at 07:45, if possible). The weather looks reasonable - it certainly will not be cold!

Safe riding, Neil