'Or should it be called the BBBBR?'
Thurs 30th Mar, 15:21 Queens Mary's Hospital - Sidcup
'It's probably best that you accept them as part of you, because, unfortunately, you're stuck with them now. Although your brain will adjust and you won't notice them'
The very lovely lady doctor eye specialist was explaining my condition. It's known as PVD - Posterial Vitreous Displacement (not to be confused with PVA - which is a bonding agent much loved by plasterers.) It came on as I was up a ladder doing some refurbishment on a bathroom of a flat in Bexleyheath. At first I thought it was just a migraine with extra special effects: blobs and cobwebs, really wierd.
'Can I still go cycling?' I asked.
'Just carry on as usual', was the welcome response.
09:34 Di Paulos
'So, anyway, the upshot is, I've got floater problems - and my eyes are not that great either!'
I was relaying to some of the assembled group, including Neil, Stewart and Tom, my experience at Queen Mary hospital two days earlier, and couldn't resist the' crack'.
I could see no one was that impressed so I took a slurp of my coffee and looked around to see if there was any sign of Nick.
We've bonded lately and he gives me a welcome push whenever he sees me struggling. Two weeks ago he gave me a shunt along the Herstmonceux road and having got me up to 20 mph I was able to maintain the momentum such that Terry struggled to keep up.
'Wow, what got into you? You never go that fast when you come out with me on a Tuesday!'
Alas, there was no sign of Nick, but I was pleased to see Patrick - who gave me a big smile.
I offered the usual: 'What was the tiff over this time?' reference to Peter Baker's (the other 'Fun Chum' - same events, same bike, same clothes, same breakfast, same mannerisms, similar hairstyle, etc. etc. ) absence.
`No we haven't fallen out, he doesn't like the wet weather`, he explained.
We were starting to gather outside when I was pleasantly surprised to see Steve D.
Now that 'Sausagegate', has become just a distant memory, we get on famously.
'Hello, stranger, haven't seen you for ages?' I said
'Nah, done me collar bone, while I was skiing - some twat crashed into me!'
I'm not sure from what he said about the ensuing fracas that he came off the worst!
I was also pleasantly surprised to see Henning again. Hopefully he will become a regular - we can't have too many celebs in our little club. I didn't really notice him until I eased past him whilst tackling the 'South Cliff Slog ' - you know the Cat 4 climb at the start, just after the bend?
'Typical bank holiday weather', I said
'Yes, I believe so'
Well, I don't have much to brag about these days, and anyway I think he was conserving energy as he dropped me with ease on the Beast of Boreham Street.
Bearing in mind the excessive rain we've had lately, it was decided that turning left at the Pear Tree Lane junction would be a drier option than straight on.
We regrouped, as usual, at the junction of Straight Lane and Hooe Road and then pushed onto Boreham Street.
Towards the top Neil and Nigel breezed past me, whilst casually chatting (Very reminiscent of the racing jockey portrayed by Harry Enfield in the Fast Show. )
At the top we had the usual - 'Who's going short and who's going long discussion'.
My knees are still not great so I stuck to short. Accompanied by Sue, Henning and Andy C.
Patrick, Duncan and a few of the others also did short, but shot off at a rapid pace, probably part of their training for Paris - Roubaix (although there aren't many cobbles on the BBR, the entrance to Chilley Farm is a bit gravely - best to exercise some caution. )
I sat at a table with Patrick, Duncan and Nigel who were reliving some of their past glories.
'So what do you think is the hardest event you have ever done then?'
I posed this question to all three of them.
'Without a doubt I would say Majorca 312', said Patrick.
'What about you, Duncan`, I said.
' Well, funnily enough, I would say, on balance, without stretching the point too far, and without prejudice, I would probably say, even though it has nothing to do with cycling, that it has to be The Welsh 3000s'
(for those who are unaware, it is a pointless exercise of walking up all the mountains in Wales that are above 3000 feet, I've also done it - and regretted it. Henning wasn't sitting at our table, but if he was he probably would have said, quite rightly : 'And vy would anybody vish to do such a thing' )Anyway, from what Duncan was saying, it seemed that a lot of the issues were political; he was doing it with Derek and this was pre Smashy and Nicey days.
'And what about you, then, Nige?'
'Well, my worst event nearly caused me to break my collar bone!'
'Oh, was that the 312 also?', I said, all agog.'Oh, no, not at all. I was in the Aldi sale last year, and me and this foul old woman both grabbed at a pair of jeggings that I was hoping to use as leggings. We had such a tug-of-war that I nearly pulled my arm out of its socket. Mind you I won - although it did stretch the gusset a bit. Actually, I'm wearing them today. What do you think?.
I looked under the table.
'And what exactly are you wearing on your feet?'
Oh, my dad gave me his old rugger boots, and I've cut them down for cycling. (see photo. )
'Rather nice aren't they?'Apologies for severe lack of proper cycling content, but love it as much as I do, there is only so much that I can say about the BBR.
(it was suggested by someone, who shall remain nameless, that it should be called the BBBBR - B@ll@cks Banter and Bacon Butty ride.
Peter Buss
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