Part Deux - French Trip 'Day Un

21:10 - Cherbourg restaurant (name escapes me.)

"Yeah, I was really out of it on the Calais trip; found myself wondering around a park and got propositioned by some Frenchie." said Ivan.

"That's true, said Steve, he said he wanted to put his sausage up Ivan's ......."

"Ah!, soup - looks great!", said Tom

Four urns of creamy asparagus soup had arrived at the table.  I surveyed the oeufs placed in front of me with contempt - there was nothing wrong with them, but I instantly knew I had made a bad choice.  The soup looked magnificent and was accompanied with toasted, garlic croutons, a dish of grated cheese and another dish of some kind of sauce.

"Your choice looks, er , mmm, interesting", said the Colonel as he leaned towards Mal C, whilst removing a string of cheese from his chin.

"Tastes better than it looks", he replied.

I must admit Mal's starter of 'pig' and salad looked a bit 'chunderesque'.

"Well, I'm happy with my omelette", said Steve.

"Oh, is that what it is, I couldn't tell as it's totally covered in ketchup?" , I said (and then sneaked a look under the table to reassure myself that he wasn't wearing union jack shorts!)

We all enjoyed the rest of the meal and made our way back to the Formula One Hotel.

As I lay on my padded ironing board waiting for sleep to overcome me I let my mind wander over an eventful day........

'Normans Bay - 09:05'

"So what section is your passport in then?", said Vicki

She had very kindly done my packing in a most efficient and logical way; far beyond what I was capable of.

"My passport is in.......that part!" - I pointed at the middle zipped section of my handlebar bag.

"Excellent, now what about about your money?"

"My money is in.......that part!" - I pointed at the end zipped section.

"Very good. Now you do know there wasn't room for Mr Cuddles don't you?"

"Yes, I suppose I have to accept that, but I might go and say goodbye to him now"

"O.K but don't be long, you know Steve is on his way."

We said our goodbyes and I cycled along to meet Steve and the others at Normans Bay Station.

Just as we made our way up Spooky Hill Steve pointed and said:

"Isn't that Stewart? - I would recognise that backside anywhere".

It was, indeed, Stewart accompanied by Neil.  Being the mature grown-up I am, I couldn't resist hurling some mild abuse out of the window, along the lines of:

"Good morning, chaps, isn't it a fine morning?"

I was quite startled by Neil's response of:

"Yeah, well come back 'ere and 'ave some!!"

I settled back into my seat and savoured the moment.  Five minutes later my phone alerted me that I had a text message - it was from Neil:

"Have a good time - you t*ssers!" - fully deserved I felt!

Arrival At Portsmouth!

We made good time to Portsmouth and had enough time before boarding the ferry to think about some lunch. We found a pub that we thought might do food, but they said they didn't do food on a Sunday; we were about to leave when Steve suggested we had a drink in the pub, anyway, before before finding a restaurant.  It was what I would call a 'dirty pub' - you know the sort? - whiff of stale beer mixing with a wiff of B.O from the regulars propping up the bar; no toilet paper in the bogs and the winning tickets from the lunchtime meat raffle displayed over the bar.  The ale was excellent and so we tarried a while and settled for a peanut lunch.

'Ferry bound for Cherbourg - 16:30'

"I reckon with the wind set fair and tides in our favour we should reach the French coast by sundown"
.
Col C 'J' Parker had maps and charts spread in front of him and was doing a few double checks.

The Colonel Commits The Route To Memory!

"The only thing I'm a bit concerned about Steve, is that it all a lot more mountainous than I was expecting."

"Oh, no, it shouldn't be too bad, I 'plugged' it all into Strava", replied Steve.

At this point I leaned forward to tack a closer look at the Colonels maps.

"Excuse me ,Colonel, allow me."

Better Double Check The Route!

I rotated the map 180 degrees, putting the Pyrenees back at the bottom of the map.

"Er, hmmm, yes, quite, thank you", said the Colonel.

Since 'signing up' for this trip a major concern of mine had been the sleeping arrangements.  I have absolutely no tolerance of snoring and I was feeling very envious of Mal D who had 'bagged' a single room.  I began an interview process which resulted in me suggesting that Mal C and I should be 'roomies' after he assured me he only snored when laying on his back and didn't mind being woken.

After disembarking we made our way, speedily to the F1 Hotel and settled in before heading off to find a restaurant (in the rain)...........

Pete Buss