BBR 20/2/16-The Puncture

Andy lives 200 yards from my house as the crow flies or 1 mile and 150-200 feet by road. He was going to come round to my house in Hastings at 8.55 but I had got up early and gone for a little spin/kit check down the seafront. It was perfect for my Gabba, great I thought all nice and streamlined today.

May as well go round to Andy’s. Rung the bell at 8.45 No answer. Hmm, that’s odd. Hmm, I am 10 minutes early maybe he has gone for a kit check, but his Mrs. should be in. Odd. Hmm, we were going to meet at my place, have I caught him on the hop? What to do? Just wait I s’pose, seems like a reliable guy, he’s sure to show, maybe they’ve popped down the shop for flapjacks/bananas. 5 minutes goes by. Door opens. Lovely Mrs is standing there. He’s in the bath she says. Blimey that’s cutting it a bit fine I say.

Go in. I shout up the stairs, come on Andy we need to get going. Comes down. Faffs around with shoe covers, on off. He says I spend half my life putting stuff on and off I say, what you mean like getting dressed and undressed? I’m thinking bloody hell let’s get going, I hate being late, there’s a double espresso with small hot water on the side waiting for me at Di Paolo’s.

Left or right Andy? I normally go along the seafront he says. Yeah but that’s all windy and we’ve got about 200 feet of height. Lets go right up the hill, stay sheltered then we can have a nice roll down Filsham. But Duncan, that’s a hill. Oh no it’s a hill I say in a Little Britain cry ee voice, you should have eaten your porridge. I’m at the junction first. I go right up the hill, Andy follows. Andy doesn’t seem to like hills, even though he’s pretty quick up Boreham. I think he needs to see one of those sports therapy people, like what Rocket Ronnie the snooker player. We cruise smoothly up, no problem, great.

Have a coffee in Di Paolo’s and introduce my mate Joe to one or two others. Joe is 69, lives 200 yards from Di Paolo’s and strong as an ox even though he pretends he isn’t. This ride is kicking off has 2016 riding.  I reassure him that he will be absolutely fine on the ride. Espresso hits the spot, everyone looks happy. Perfect.

5 minutes in I am bowling along Cooden Drive with 20 (?) riders looking forward to a good BBR. I am in high spirits riding with Joe and Andy, giving Joe one or two tips as he isn’t used to structured group riding. Looks down. Hmm, bit odd. I changed religion the other week and went from 23 to 25mm tyres. They do seem more comfy, my boys who have been banging on about it for ages were right. Hmmm. They look really really wide. Hmmm, they look crinkly but it all feels smooth. F*** . I’ve got a puncture!

“Stopping, stopping, I’ve got a puncture” I pull up gently and go on the grass verge. Andy, Joe and Man from Yorkshire (Paul B axter)have pulled up. Good I’ve got some help. Whip off the front wheel. Eh up, ‘ave you got kit then? Carry on, do I look like a rider who doesn’t have kit? Check inside the tyre, that went flat really quick. Can’t see anything. Eh up, is that a 23 or 25? Carry on. Good its all going well, this will be quick. Putting wheel back into fork with Joe holding the bars. Eh up is those 105’s brakes then? Them’s really good, can I fit them on mah bike. Carry on. Mini pump has never seen so much action. Want to catch up others asap! Must get some canisters like Patrick P carries. Good that’ll do. Unscrew connector. Puff! Oh crap the poxy valve’s come unscrewed. Try to finger tighten it. No good. Mental note, small pliers are handy. Oh well I always carry two. Chuck the other one in. Proceed. Bloody hell these bladed spokes are sharp. Me fingers cut and there’s blood on the rim. Eh up, is them 23’s or twenty farves?..............

Off we go. Me, Andy, Joe and Man from Yorkshire. Glad I spotted that puncture before going round sharp right hander at the hotel, otherwise I would have been having an early bath.

Let’s try and catch them up I say. We go quicker than normal. Down Whydown Hill I’m doing about 30 and some idiot in  a car’s up my rear trying to overtake. I’m having none of that, its too narrow and bendy. I go right in the middle of the road and hold my line, it doesn’t bother me. The fact that One Brain Cell Man is tooting means he has seen me. Jog on. Goes past me on the uphill after the tricky bottom left hander.I gave him a friendly wave good bye palm side towards, much more polite than the middle finger one feels.

The author is so pleased to be be back with Baron Buss

Pretty good run up Boreham Hill. Judge it better this week and hit my max bpm about two thirds of the way up. Stop for the others at the Garage. Regroup. Andy says we aren’t going to catch them, let’s go straight on at Tilley Lane and right at Herstmonceux, we’ll bump into them coming down.

Sure enough we did.

I catch up Neil. I say shall we catch up those others up front, I’ll give you a tow if you want. I haven’t got the legs he says. Off I go. I catch the others. To my slight disappoint we regroup at the Lamb. Bloody hell I just want to carry on, I’m somewhat on it today.

Joe and Derek prove you can still ride strong in your sixties

Off we go again. I go a bit slow behind Joe as he is my guest. Hmm, not much of this ride left. I want to go. I go. I catch up Theo and Kim. I try to give Theo a tow to catch the front group up. He seems a bit tired. Oh well I’m going to catch the others. Off I go. I catch them easier than I thought in the strong cross wind. I am in my tuck position, the planking seems to have paid off, I can hold this all the way to the cafe if I need to. Ahead are Pete B, Neil, Andy C and a couple more (?). Hmmm, this seems a bit slow, I’m going on the front to lend a hand. I go on the front. Neil is on my wheel. I hold my bpm at 140bpm. Neil is very good at communicating. He calls out I can’t hold that. I drop to 135 bpm. Steady he says. Perfect, this is great and I’m on the front feeling strong. We ride like that for a mile. Hmmm, still full of beans.  Pevensey garage is only about 500 yards. Sod it I’m going to put my all into this last bit, it’s good training.  Off I go. Boom, really happy with my speed and hold it. Pull into garage, tongue hanging out. Great, I have salvaged a lot from this ride after the stupid inner tube saga on Cooden Drive.

Thanks to the kindness of the  cafe staff we were not  denied our tea and breakfasts.

Pevensey Bay Café was busy, but the nice girls got us in at a reserved table, we should be out by 12.30. They really can’t do enough for you. It’s such a refreshing change from most places that you go in. Café is really really busy. Hmm, we’re going to overrun. Lady comes over and asks very nicely if we wouldn’t mind moving over to the other table. Sure says Joe with a glint in his eye, and adds, if I get a free cuppa. He is a wag. The lady takes the joke. Lovely breakfast, lovely chat with Derek, Lord Buss and Joe. My weekends are so much better since I started riding with the club.

I am off to see my Dad in Eastbourne, so I wave goodbye to all and battle it out against a full on strong wind. “Slow and steady wins the race” just gotta tough it out.

What another great ride.

Duncan H