MVP return – It’s not about the bike

Eight bikey blokes – 3 nights in Mallorca – what could possibly go wrong?

We actually nothing – we had a great time. Everything went like clock work, got to Gatwick with plenty of time to spare – flight on time – met at airport – arrived at Peurto Pollenca – bought sensible food in supermarket. Had too much to drink first night – picked up our Pinarellos next day. Everybody on Marvels except Gary Lake (Dogma) and collection of some Di2s & others mechanicals.So this was to a scientific test of the Dogma. Official result is that is does not go as fast as the Marvel with mechanical shifting – there you go and that’s science!

The MVP are back in their spiritual home

The Mallorcan Velo Professional (MVP) CC had returned to its spiritual home. That night we gorged on lobster and Rioja, presided over by Grand Master of the MVP Duncan. We discussed what we would need to do if he wasn’t pulling his weight on the grand mastering front and, given it’s a life position, decided we would need to nudge him off one of the road edges and install next in line Simon. We retuned to the freezing apartment – whilst the day time temps were English summer the night were a trifle nippy. We then found the news about JV coming out in sympathy with his her in doors. We all agreed he should have obviously come with us & then Malc mentioned Karma and we all got a bit scared.

Day 1
Nice steady 15 mileish ride to Selva through the orange groves for a coffee in the local bar. Then a healthy climb up the Coll de Sa Batalla around 5miles of climb of over 1300 ft. We were passed by a pro team training and decided not to demoralise them by showing our heels and let them go. Simon, Nigel and Duncan were all in good shape. Nick was suffering with a cold, Patrick getting over a cold and overdosing on testosterone, Gary wishing he had got out more and then Malcolm and I the old reliable hipsters and that’s the way it stayed more or less. We arrived at the top of the infamous Sa Collabra. What were they on when they built that 6.2 miles descending 2,287 feet to to the beach, on a road designed by someone out of the head on acid. Collabra is Spanish for Cobra and it certainly felt like riding down the back of a cobra, as the road twisted and turned. We arrived in time for a lunch fuelling, with the thought of having to go back up. There was no other way – that was it straight down – then straight up. We all made it and some of had to regroup and wait a bit for ill people and people with expensive bikes. We then declared how much we admired each other and set off back to our apartment. 67 miles and 6,850 feet of climbing. What great day!

Evening meal distinctly Spanish affair and we planned the next day Patrick had plotted an adventurous route to Soller where we would have lunch and turn around and coming back the same way. Me being the adventurous sort wanted to go the alternative way back passing through unexplored territory but would unfortunately miss out on the infamous climb back up Puig Major with its 3000 odd feet of climbing. Lots of blouse talk ensued.

Day 2
Day broke to sunshine and nippy temps. Nigel wanted to push himself so set off on to Soller slolleritary (LoL at my joke). We all chugged and Simon flew. We had a fair bit of climbing before we arrived mid morning at at bar, which was of the Spanish version of de Paulos. The Spanish BBR crew were tucking into bread chorizo and Rioja. We decided not to go native and just have coffee and water top up. Went up to the bar and the waiter said ‘you know Chris Parker’ or was that when we were in New Romney – sorry get a bit confused.

A touch of cramp for Nick

Set off for Soller – Patrick decided to have a ‘testosterone-off ‘with a local Spanish club out on their club ride. Fortunately, they turned off for Sa Collabra and we could all chill again as we were on to Soller to find Nigel. Fantastic ride up through mountain lakes and eventually get to the tunnel at the top of Puig Major before the thrilling decent into Soller, where the sun was shining and Nigel was starting his carbonara. Half way through the meal Nick leapt into the air shouting ‘fudge fudge sorry cramp’ – clutching his hamstring. We leapt into action – and got out smartphones to take his picture.

We then split into two groups Nick, Gary and I put on kindly donated blouses and set off. We were nicely climbing out of Soller when Nigel turned up wearing the best blouse of all. We stopped at a handily placed tunnel and translated the signs into ‘no bikes through the tunnel’ the route helpfully sent us up the  Coll de Soller some 4.5 miles and 1,400 ft.

Another impressive tunnel.

This was a great hairpin climb with few cars as they mostly take the tunnel. The descent was amazing and we then set off through villages and towns through the minor roads before finding our local bar at Selva where we ordered, only to spy the others riding up the road, just as if we planned it. Malc left his helmet on the foor and a Chihuahua liked the look it it took one stiff and decided it wasn’t worth the cock of his leg. Some had coffee some had beers - coffeed ones sped home beers ones got home eventually.

That night traditional Spanish curry.

Day 3
Easy Day – Cap Formentor. This is an iconic ride -  good climb and descents winding roads, cliff edges and the sea turquoise at the bottom of the sheer drops. We did this the last time and certainly the ride deserves a repeat. Malc commented on the prefect surface for a road that goes to nowhere. We really took it easy and stopped at the light house for coffee. We had to wait for Patrick and Nick. Patrick arrived and explained that Nick had had an accident and gone under one of the barriers. We quickly ascertained they had staged a photoshoot in order to make JV feel better. What kind lads!
Back to Puerto Pollenca with a stop at the beautiful beach at Formentor. One climb before home and we all looked at a further climb that beckoned to a look out tower. It would have been rude not to so off we went. The road was more like that we were accustomed to at home. Patrick in a testosterone frenzy decided to climb the watch tower in his bare feet carrying his Garmin to get the extra elevation.

Lunch in the sun.

Fantastic lunch in the sun and a bit of a flat spin and that was it. Said good bye to the Pinarellos.

It is a scientific fact the Dogma is not as quick as the Marvel mechanical shift as proven by the MVP test team.

The MVP is now firmly established and the next trip probably Octoberish – watch this space.

Hasta la próxima vez



Peter Baker