Third Mallorcan Velo Professionals (MVP) Report

This was the third meet of the Mallorcan Velo Professionals (MVP) and time to induct some new members into the fold. The old guard of Grand Master Feathers and his faithful ‘fun’ domestiques Patrick Piper and Peter Baker, the Caveman Tamplin, Naughty Nick and Malc C & D (A & B couldn’t make it) were joined by newbies Derek, Sue ‘Geezer’ Landy, and newlyweds Dave Morris and Dan Hanlon. We had gone a bit more up market this time and nearly spent £20 per night on our accommodation. Things went smoothly and we arrived at the brilliant Apartment Bressol in Puerto Pollensa and the supermarket was duly raided of beer, wine and crisps before people went to the equally brilliant Pinarello experience to pick up hire bikes for the three days we were there. What we did in the evening stays in Mallorca.

Day 1 saw the whole group ride off to the traditional stop off in Selva for coffee (& brandy for NN) before some of the hard types completed the climb up to the Tramuntana Mountains to the top of Sa Colabra the iconic road designed by a roller coaster freak.

 The descent is a blast and rewarded by a beautiful bay with a beach and a couple of restaurants. This preceded the fun 9.4km climb gaining 668m with average gradient 7.1% and maximum 12%. 67.9 miles 6,985 ft of climbing (unless you have Dave & Dan’s android phones which appeared to indicate they had been to the moon and back). The less hard types took a spin with the caveman to explore the Orient. All arrived back safely with the newbies crossing the ‘cobra’ off their bucket list. What we did in the evening stays in Mallorca.

Day 2 Bus to Andraxt to ride the length of Serra Tramunta back to Puerto Pollensa (with the exception of Malc C and Derek who decide to stay in the plain and get each other lost). We climbed quickly and sharply out of Andraxt and started the traverse – amazing dramatic seascaped scenery with beautiful terracotta villages with sun kissed terraced slopes. Malc D, PP, GM and I stopped for coffee at Deia and looked at the cycle sweat fest coming up the valley, whilst some stopped earlier due to being a bit puffed out, whilst Caveman blasted on to Soller as Cavemen don’t need coffee. PP, the day before in a testosterone frenzy, had decided he wanted to do an extra 3 mile descent and climb back up. He was strangely quiet when we passed the turning and started to talk about his heart rate whilst the anthem from swan lake played in the background. We tracked the caveman down hiding behind a hedge in the pretty port of Soller whilst NN and the others couldn’t be bother to cycle the 100m to come and find us and had lunch on their own. PP then hatched a plan which was to do the blouse route of the Col de Soller (7.3km 6%) back to base, although GM declared that this was not a blouse route anymore (as it was when I did it the last time) and was not a very challenging alternative. The men (Malc D, me and the newly weds) then rode the ‘pig’. The cruel Puig Major cat 1, 14 km 6.2% (nasty b******). The climb ends through at tunnel which takes you through to a fridge on the other side of the mountain requiring full thermals and riding like the clappers to get back to base via a superb (but chilly) descent (75.9 miles 7,867 ft). What we did in the evening stays in Mallorca.


Day 3 Levels of knackeredness reach epic proportions. Two rides were on offer the beautiful Cap Formentor lighthouse cruise (35 km 1000m climb) or the let’s find the flattest bit of Mallorca cruise. All with the exception of Caveman, GM, PP & I went to the lighthouse, we tried to have as many lunches in one day that we could (57.9 miles 2,451ft climbing).

The bus arrived and took us sleepy but happy to the airport.
‘Hasta la proxima vez’ Mallorca

Peter Baker