Wednesday Chain Gang – Shirley lets rip and the Return of the Baron

A cold, dry and still night saw 22 riders assemble for what proved to be a fast chain gang. Not many records were broken as there was no breeze to inflate our speeds.  Instead, the average speeds were high and consistent, making for a harder workout, I think. The cold proved not to be to everyone’s liking, with some struggling for air as the cold hit their lungs and tightened their breathing. I’d used my inhaler before coming out, so I was ok (I have a TUE, of course, and it’s not a steroid spray), but needed it again when I got to bed.

Anyway, a rather reluctant group of ultras was sent up the road, grumbling about the cold, but ten or so went off a little late. Frankly, we need the most excellent Stuart H to inject some backbone to this group; they’re becoming rather prima donna-ish. Whip ‘em into shape Stu!

 The second group followed on, more or less as one group, with Ruth taking the front and setting a fast pace. I managed to get to the front and what proved to be a good rotation began, with a consistently high pace throughout. JV was riding strongly and Peter ‘Shirley’ Baker was also putting in some good shifts. Everyone pulled their weight and kept the speed high without breaking the group.

 As is now the custom, we filed-up after the Herbrand level-crossing on the narrow, twisty stretch to the Star Inn. The problem is there is not much time to get back into single-file if a car comes towards you. It gets messy and rushed, and so it proved again last night when some riders went down the outside before the Inn and met traffic coming the other way. I don’t think it’s worth the risk, but perhaps the front two or three riders could quickly rotate so that the lead rider doesn’t do too much work!

 Having safely negotiated the bridge at the Inn, we resumed a tidier rotation and sped on to Spooky Hill. I was at the front as we hit the base, then at the back by time we reached the top! I managed to hang on and caught JVs wheel as we went down the hill and rejoined the rest of the group. Riding a fluent through and off was difficult as the traffic diverted from the closed Coast Road (Pevensey Bay to Normans Bay, moon craters and all) is using Sluice Lane instead. One or two riders would make the front and then another car or three would come around a bend. In the end, without saying anything, we filed-up for the last stretches to the roundabout, abandoning any further rotations.

The return leg set off as one group with a few faster riders going ahead, before the main group formed. Some people struggling with the cold, but I loved it last night and I felt strong. We settled into another rotation once we had absorbed some stray riders, bombing up Spooky and down the eastern side, swooping around the bend before the level-crossing and riding on fast to the Inn. We filed-up as usual and just as well – a car was on the bridge. ‘CAR’ we screamed as one, startling the customers smoking outside the pub, breaking to avoid a collision. Once the hazard was smoothly negotiated, we pushed on for Herbrand Walk, keeping the pace high and the movements smooth. Well, mostly – ‘Shirley’ Baker (the curly hair?) was a little too keen and went flying off the front a couple of times - she really is a feisty little thing!

 One on Cooden Drive, we again played catch up with ‘Shirley’, shooting past ‘El Presidente’ and giving the club salute. What salute, you say? All enquiries to Patrick Baker, the membership secretary, and whilst we’re at it, your club subs will be due soon! Patrick was also riding strongly last night, especially on the outward leg, stretching the group just enough to make the speed demanding but achievable.

The ride down the east slope of the Cooden Bump allows us to pick up speed and more or less maintain that all the way to the lights. I felt strong enough to take the front and confident initially that I would lead the group in. But JV had other ideas, coming past me with strength to spare. That’s cool – he’s a strong rider, having come back really well after breaking his wrist earlier this year.

 The Eastbourne and other riders soon made off and I went with them. Neil S took the front and accelerated to warp speed. I politely suggested that he slow down and rode to the front to have a chat. Before I knew it, we were back up to warp speed seven, tyres smoking and clothes ripping as we flew towards the Cooden Beach Hotel. I had no chance to bid his Lordship a good evening as we pelted forward down Herbrand. Neil S took the front and stayed there, with me, Ruth and Tom N hanging on the back.

 Gradually, he tired just enough to let me get on the front and we managed to rotate the lead between us all the way to the roundabout. Tom was left some way back; Adam and Ruth stayed tucked in and I do not blame them! My average speed at this point was just under 35kph, a rare occurrence for me – it was certainly the fastest second leg I’ve done! Hard work but exhilarating.

 This Saturday sees the Pre-BBR Special to Brighton, leaving from Normans Bay at 07:45. Looks like good weather, if rather cold! Hope to see you there.

 The Return of the Baron – ‘Is It Safe?’

 I rode home from Pevensey Bay alone, feeling strong but a little hungry and tired. The phone rang as I was tucking into my vegan almond and vegetable bake. Who the..?

 ‘Eez it safe?’ said someone with a strange accent, an odd mix of sarf London and French.

‘Excuse me?’

‘I sed, eez it safe?’

 And then I twigged. It was the Baron. Was it time already for him to return from his business trip?

 ‘Er, well, I think so, I mean there’s too much traffic on Sluice Lane and Beachy Head road is being re-laid, but…’ I was cut short.

‘Shut it mush! I mean, is it safe to come back, is the house being watched, have you taken the shipment?’

I had no idea what he was talking about, so I just said ‘yes’. Frankly, I’m not sure his medication is strong enough, he’s becoming a little unstable.

‘Right, get the boys together and meet me on the beach.’

‘Er, beach? What beach? Are you swimming home?’

‘SHUT. IT! You’re for the chop when I get back, you’re doing my swede.’

I decided it was best not to aggravate him further, so I said ‘yes, I’ll get the boys together and we will meet you on the beach.’

‘Good. Remember to bring my dressing gown and hot water bottle. And I want a bed time story, something by Agatha Christie would be nice. It’ll be good to be back.’

 ‘Yes Peter, something by Agatha Christie’, I mumbled, thinking that Enid Blyton would be a better bet. ‘Are you staying long?’ I asked.

 ‘Yes, staying for Crimbo, otherwise Santa won’t know where I am and I won’t get any pressies. Matron will be pleased.’ Oh heavens, it’s going to be a long winter.



Safe riding, Neil