09:09 Level Crossing, start of Herbrand Walk (waiting for the lights to change)
"Do you know, Terry, we have the combined age of a Galapagos turtle?"
With that Mal C pulled alongside.
"Oh, no , I thought, we now have the combined age of one of those Californian Redwoods"
We were than joined by 'Harpo' Coleman. At least this has brought the combined age down quite considerably, I thought.
You see Adam has got a new set of deep rims and so he announces his arrival through various whistling tones (dependant on his speed), a bit like 'Harpo' of Marx Brothers fame (anyone under the age of 50 probably thinks I'm talking more shite than usual.)
It had been a really nice little Pre BBR, very chatty and nowhere near as strenuous as the usual 'Beachy' Pre BBR. I met up with Adam and Terry, who were waiting patiently for me whilst 'basking' in the watery, but better than nothing early morning sunshine. Despite Steve C's warning of a return to the Ice age we were pleasantly surprised by the conditions and there was no obvious signs of any glacial development.
We covered various topics of conversation, including football and astronomy. It turns out that Terry and I both have a shared interest in the cosmos. I was explaining that I have taken my 'go to' (automatically finds objects in the night sky) telescope to France because of the darker skies, and that one of my goals was to observe all the planets. Terry pointed out, quite rightly, that Pluto and Neptune would be beyond the scope of an amateur telescope, but Uranus would be visible as a small fuzzy green spot.
"I've got an eight inch one", he said
I considered this remark; I really know I should act my age and not my shoe size, but I simply cannot resist
a double entendre - in the same way that a dog can't pass a lamp post without p*ssing up it, or Neil can't resist pointing out every single lolly stick, lichen patch or fag butt that may represent a cycling hazard - I couldn't resist the predictably childish response to this comment; I tried for a moment to bite my lip, but it was no good, I just had to blurt it out.
"So how big's your telescope then?"
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| These big glasses make ' Baron Buss' look strangely young! |
Terry, very maturely didn't rise to the 'bait', and changed the subject to football.
It was turning out to be a lovely morning for cycling and we felt a bit smug that we had made the right decision to risk ice and do a Pre BBR.
At the Pevensey roundabout we saw a couple of cyclists; one of whom was taking a leak, and the other one shouted out:
"Alright Pete?"
I couldn't make out who it was. As we turned the first corner of Sluice Lane we spotted Mal C (who was also taking a leak)
"Oh, it's you!", I shouted as I sped past. I decided I wanted to catch up with the other two cyclists to see who they were, but after a couple of minutes I decided it was too much like hard work and dropped back to the others.
Terry decided he wanted to go along the seafront, rather than all the way along Cooden Drive, so we agreed we would go that way with him. Nearing The Di Paulo roundabout I spotted the mystery cyclists and gave chase, along with Mal C, unfortunately they just managed to get away.
There was quite a few bikes lined up outside. Steve C saw me come in and said immediately:
"I've put 28 mm tyres on my bike; you would not believe the difference it makes..."
"Oh, that's good Steve, do they do them in a floral pattern?", I said sarcastically
"No, only in black", he replied
I ordered my usual DSC (double shot cappuccino )from Luigi and sat down.
There was a few new faces again this week, some of whom I got to know and some (the quick ones) I never saw until the end of the ride. (apologies for not naming people but I didn't really get a 'grip' of the names.)
I sat with Terry, 'The Colonel' and Steve C and I can't remember how, but we got onto the subject of accents.
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| Andy F returns to HSLCC after a year's absence |
"Talking of accents, I said, I had a call yesterday from France:"
"'allo, iz zat Mr Booss?"
"Yes, it is"
"It eez Monsieur Mitie from Credit Agricole, Clairac I 'av some zing I need to talk about wiv you"
"Oh, about what?"
"About your accunt"
"Well, really! there's no need to be like that!"
"No, it eez about your bonk accunt"
"Oh, I see!", I said with some relief.
"When are you in France next?"
"In a couple of weeks"
"O.K zats good, could you call in to ze bonk and ask to see me?"
"O.K, I will, au revoir"
"Zank you , aurevoir"
This leads me nicely on to the subject of club hierachy (very loosely). It was bought to my attention by Steve C that there has been some dispute in the club's Facebook site over the honorary title of Baron which was bestowed on me by the aforementioned Steve - a senior and well respected ,member of the club. Sargeant 'groaning' Grogan (thanks to another blog writer for the use of the term 'groaning Grogan'), has suggested that I should be given a lesser title I can only assume , that like a lot of NCOs, there is some frustration and resentment about the 'glass ceiling' which prevents them from moving into the higher echelons of the club occupied by commissioned officers. When all is said and done it is unlikely that Simon would make colonel. Take the qualities of Col C 'J' Parker for instance; the chiseled jaw, the air of authority, the confident jauntiness, qualities not possessed by all members of the club.
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| At least one person is listening to 'The Colonel's' Instructions |
I would suggest therefore that he wishes to advance he could perhaps 'chance his arm' in the Groanandier Guards (oh dear,groan!.) I can see a 'Groaninggate' developing, but I can only hope, like with 'Sausagegate' that things will slowly die down and we carry on as usual.
We also discussed where we would stop for breakfast and it was agreed that I would phone ahead to The Pevensey Bakery to book a table once we had arrived at the Boreham Street garage.
Much refreshed after the coffee, I was first to get on my bike and waited patiently by the De La Warr for the others, but as I went to take a sip of Ribena I realised I had left my bottle in the Di Paulos. The panic set in; there going to leave me behind again!, I needn't have worried though, because one of the young waiters rushed outside and was looking for the owner of the bottle.
It wasn't long before we became spread out - which is essential when there are so many riders. We casually regrouped several times, the first formal regrouping was the end of Straight Lane and then again at the top of Borham Hill.
"I've put 28 mm tyres on my bike; you would not believe the difference it makes...", said Steve to the others who were gathered there.
I managed to get a feel for how many wanted breakfast from those gathered at the garage, but as I attempted to ask those in the lay-by they shot off just as I pulled out my phone. I reserved a table for 8 (and my usual cakes.) and watched them all speed off; Paul and Gareth, however, waited with me, gallantly.
I took off after the others to tried to regain my position of somewhere in the middle of the pack, but for some strange reason I thought I had overshot the Tilley Lane turnoff and did a u-turn, which I hadn't. I was then cycling towards Paul and Gareth! and by the time I had done another u-turn I was at right at the back - as I said earlier, this always gives me a sense of panic, because I can get lost any time, any where. I gave chase and then spotted Shirley who had arrived late - at least she can keep an eye on me from the back. This did turn out to be most useful, because she did stop me from going left at a part where you need to go straight on (most people will be thinking 'what a tw*t', except Steve C and Mal C who will be thinking: 'well it's an easy mistake to make.')
I pushed on and was relieved to see the Colonel waiting at the White Horse pub. I repaid his consideration by having a good 'bitch' about being 'dumped' at the garage. As usual, he displayed his Colonely qualities and explained that it is good that the group stays stretched out. (I did apologise to him at the bakery for my petulance - I think I must have been dumped somewhere when I was a baby and never really got over it.)
It was a heart-warming site to see the whole group waiting at Rushlake Green - they must have been there for sometime.
Refusing to be at the back again I joined the front runners - I think this was Tom and Paul. I eventually drifted off the back of their wheels and was slowly overtaken by some of the others including Patrick and Alec (the new guy) and few of the others.
I don't know exactly what went on with those at the front, but I know from the Strava comments afterwards that there had been a lot of testosterone on display from Mark, Patrick , Alec and others.
I had a nice little two man chain going down Wartling Hill with Andy (back with the club after a prolonged absence); we all met up again at the Pevensey roundabout and I was quite pleased to see a few arrive after me.
Back at the Bakery we sat at our reserved table, and the staff thanked me for phoning ahead and encouraged me to do it every week.
I sat next to Steve C who had stripped down to his vest and was looking a bit like Rab C Nesbit:
"I've put 28mm tyres on my bike; you would not believe the difference it makes..."
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| Great to see newbie Alec out with us once again |
"I've just seen someone I know....."
Seriously, Steve was explaining to me the difficulties of being a teacher these days and has my every sympathy!
A favourite part of the BBR for me is the steady run down Coast Road after the Bakery, and the accompanying banter, as this represents the final stage back to Normans Bay.
12:51 Normans Bay
"Hello, sweetie, good ride? Is next doors cat a tabby?", asked Vicki, all in one sentence.
"Yes, why?", I replied
"It's doing it's business underneath our Phormiums"
"Well they never cr*p in their own garden", I said philosophically.
We had our cakes and a cup of tea.
"Where are you going with that toilet roll and rolled up newspaper?", asked Vicki
I'm going for a dump", I said
"Please don't use that kind of language, and why are you going out the front door?"
"I thought I might use Jeremy's bog - it's only fair!"
Peter 'Baron' Buss
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