Saturday Pre-BBR & BBR Rides - Spring's First Appearance & Hardriders Recce

Just three intrepid riders made it to Normans Bay for the pre-BBR ride to Beachy Head and back, the other regulars either put off by the early morning fog or, like Peter Buss, too busy dusting the houseplants. It's a question of priorities, that's all I will say.

And so it was that Stewart 'Lord' Buckland, Duncan Pain and me began a rapid ride to Beachy in the cold, damp mist. I wouldn't call it pleasant - the dampness made it easy for the cold to penetrate our clothing - but we maintained a good pace.

The three 'Pre BBR' amigos

Still cold but the sun is gaining strength

We were rewarded for our efforts with a break in the mist as we climbed towards St Bede's, and then with full-on spring sunshine on Beachy Head. Larks tumbled through the frost and wind-beaten grass. The warmth of the sun lifted the scent of early spring from the stirring ground and the sea twinkled sweetly through the scraps of cloud below. We paused for the obligatory group selfie, remarking how very much we looked like slightly ageing but rugged rock stars. I think Stewart actually believes this, bless.

The rapid descent into Eastbourne returned us to the cold and damp world of fog, but the wind was low and we continued to ride at a good pace. This pleased me greatly - more time in the cafe! Near Asda, Stewart nearly came a cropper, swerving for no reason into my path as a passing lorry also made me swerve towards him. He says his heart rate went over 200 in the resulting panic and there was certainly a lot of beeping and swearing from him. He contrived a story where I was the villain of this little episode, but I tell you now that these are vicious and groundless accusations, m'lud. Hold your line Stewart!

Another big turnout at Di Paulo's

That drama over, we made Bexhill in good time to find Di Paulos already filling with enthusiastic BBR-ers. In all, the group was 19 or 20 riders, another excellent turn out. The sun had by now burnt off the mist and it was warming the air nicely. The route was varied to check out the Hardriders course before the event on Sunday 20th. By the way, those taking part should have received an email from Peter Moon, the organiser, giving the start times.

Patrick's puncture problem.

There followed a lengthy delay outside the cafe whilst Patrick 'Puncture' Piper gave an impromptu demonstration of how to fix a freshly-holed inner tube, his front tyre having spontaneously deflated as we stood around waiting for the start. It started well enough - wheel out, tyre levered over, inner tube removed, new tube in place - but went downhill from there. His CO2 cylinder was missing, so I gave him one of mine. The valve then played up, so he vented the entire cylinder into the fresh air, a cloud of condensing gas shrouding him from view, like a magician, but without the cloak or beautiful assistant.

If only Patrick COULD fix his punctures with magic, we would not have waited a further ten minutes whilst he tried to inflate the tube by hand. He spoke the following immortal words: 'I'm pumping away as hard as I can (darling), but it's not going up - I need some help to get it hard'. Ok, I added the 'darling' bit, but it was clear that this is a phrase that he uses often. Meanwhile, his heart rate continued to climb as we gave him helpful advice and support, for which he did not seem that grateful, the wretch! After a while, we lost interest and started the ride, leaving him to his fate.

Eagle eyed Sue, spots flint embedded in the tyre rubber.

So began my second fast ride of the morning, hooking up with old adversary Tom Norris and young flash-heart Trevor Deeble. We did not ride in the usual sedate tradition of the BBR, but we did wait for the group at pre-agreed assembly points around the route. Trevor provided a wealth of advice and knowledge, with which Tom was particularly impressed. His favourite nugget was 'you don't need brakes from here'. I could see Tom's no-nonsense Yorkshire brain wrestling with the concept: 'you don't need brakes...'. No, it clearly did not compute. My favourite was 'stay aerobic Neil, stay aerobic', shared as we climbed the Ashburnam Road - a stretch of road that I loath. I repeated this mantra over and over as we ground our way upwards - 'stay aerobic, stay aerobic, stay aerobic...', but gave up when I started feeling faint. 'Trevor, I'm not staying aerobic - what do I do now?'

'Ahoy, another BBR rider on the horizon'

The Hardriders route takes a turn to the left, cutting short the tedious torture of the 'Ashburnam Arse'. Once you've negotiated the tight bends with loose stones, there is an excellent high-speed descent to the foot of 'Agony Hill', one section of which is particularly sharp. The slow speed you will inevitably enjoy here gives riders an excellent chance to admire the flowers in the verge - yellow primroses and white starbright, to name but three. I guess this is where most time will be won or lost, the very best riders able to burn up this stretch at an indecent speed.

My strategy is to weigh as little as possible on the day. Having read the rules, it appears the only thing I have to wear is a luminous race number on my backside. Pinning it on will be an ordeal, but this will save a pound or two. I might tie it around my waist with a small flap at the front, so that I don't scare any spectators or horses. It will also show off my new 'star' tattoo. Other weight-saving strategies might include removing the saddle, no handlebar tape, no brakes (thanks for that one Trevor), no drinks bottles and replacing the chain with high-tensile string (have you seen how heavy a chain is?).

Duncan does love a good BBR

More sensibly (if I must), Trevor's braking advice refers to the stretch of the route from Three Cups to the finish in Bodle Street Green where, with the exception of one turn, you mostly have the run of the terrain and can really push on. I adopted this philosophy wholeheartedly as we left Rushlake Green, going too fast for the turn by the big house, overshooting and ending up in their drive. I was left to play catch-up with Trevor and Tom, closely followed by Chris Parker, who was having a good day on the bike - chapeau Chris!

I think the plan from there was to meet at Chilley Farm, but a good portion of the group had taken the normal route back from Rushlake Green, through Cowbeech and Herstmonceux. Our group of eight or so riders headed back via Joe's Lane and Wartling Road, with Tom, Trevor and me again in the vanguard. We met the splinter group near The Lamb, overtaking Sue L and Duncan at speed on the Wartling Road. Trevor went into hyperdrive at this point, losing me and Tom, and that was that. A quick ride home meant I missed the festivities at the farm - I hope the bacon was good although I would encourage you all to make the vegan choice and have some fruit.

It is easy to miss that turn at Rushlake Green for Bodle Street Green, not something you want to do during the Hardriders event! The forecast is currently for cloud and a northerly breeze, with a temperature of about 10 degrees C. I reckon that's pretty helpful as the hilly parts of the ride will provide shelter from the breeze, then be at your back for the home stretch. Good luck to everyone who is taking part, see you there!

Neil Smith