Wednesday Chain Gang - Big Turnout for Speedy Sunset Boulevard Bash

Mega Turnout!

'Right, Neil, I want you to ride past and duck as Stewart swings his axe, then you shoot him with your pistol. Barney, you ride up and stab him in the neck. Peter (camera 2), you get an angle from the back. Duncan, you squirt the blood and I'll do the headcam - got it? Oh, and Stewart, go to make-up - you've got a shiny nose.' We all nodded and took our places for 'scene four, take 12'. I didn't know that making a film could be such hard work.

Despite being an'Ultra' Stu still has time to say hello

I tried counting the riders last night, but it wasn't easy, what with Steve 'Tarrantino' Curtis giving film directions and the usual abuse from the group. I think there were 37 riders in all. The Baron thought this was a record number, but I disagreed. He stared at me and repeated, slowly and quietly, ‘I think that’s a record number, Neil.’ I had the sense to agree at this point. 'Yes Peter.' How very much like a movie star he looked in his pink latex skin suit and bowler hat, reminding me of a character from A Clockwork Orange. We had perfect cycling weather to enjoy - warm, dry, little wind - with another beautiful sunset to speed towards on the outward leg.

"Hurry up, what are you waiting for?"

Seven ultras went out, followed by a dozen or so 'fast' riders, and then a further two groups of varying experience and ability. For the most part, my group had a magnificent seven or so riders who regularly shared the front, with the others hanging off the back. I don't mind that, unless folk are taking the mickey. It took a bit of time for the group to settle, but we then enjoyed a fast ride over the marshes. I bagged my fastest time to date for the outward leg and others also had a good speedy evening.

The 'Supers' get rolling

We were in touching distance of the ultras for much of the ride; they only really put space between us after Spooky Hill. Some were keen to catch them, some less so. They were toying with us really, as they can put in a spurt and be gone in no time - gone with the wind. I was eager to get after them, but there was no way I could do it alone, and traffic played a part in adding to the space between us.

We had the usual 'should we stay or should we go' dance at the (last tango in...) Pevensey layby, as a never-ending stream of riders came in off the marshes. Surely there can’t be more? I set off with the ultras, riding smoothly for a short while, then 'pink leader' Barney, top gun in the group, accelerated and we all hung on. Thankfully, it was just a burst to get up to cruising speed and I managed to stay with the group as we took the tight right-hander at the nature reserve, then sped on to the foot of the west slope of Spooky Hill, the local version of Dante's Peak.

Neil is in a playful mood

I found myself exactly where I didn't want to be - coming up the outside of the group to take the lead from the fabulous Stuart Hodd. He must have taken pity on me because I managed to get in front of him, just where he usually puts in a big effort to power up the hill. I owed it to him to really go for it, so I made a big effort to maintain the speed of the following group. It felt fast enough, with Stewart B taking over the lead as we hit the ‘summit’. Hills are not my strong point - less weight and more power needed!

From there, we swept down the east slope to my favourite corner - the left hand bend at Normans Bay. I love cranking the bike over and holding my line in the group, carrying as much speed as possible as we straighten up and pelt towards the Star Inn. Riding fast and furious, you have to concentrate and work hard to keep the group together at pace.

Duncan looks a bit like Contador in those shades.

After the Inn and the second bridge, I think Barney and Stuart engaged warp drive, pulling away with a few other riders of genuine class and leaving me for a solo ride to the lights. I dug deep but I couldn't match their speed and they opened up a gap. Next time, I hope to be ready for the surge. Despite best efforts, a following group overtook me like a swarm of locusts, just before reaching the lights. No respect, showing off for the cameras, the tarts.

Overall, it was an exciting evening ride. Perhaps too many people rode for it to be tidy enough to keep the purists happy, but it was great to see such a crowd riding together, with with no mishaps. I hope Steve 'Tarrantino' Curtis has the footage he requires for his latest blockbuster and that we get a suitable appearance fee. He might want to edit out the childish gestures that Peter Baker and others encouraged me to make - sorry Steve.


Safe riding, Neil