"Huff, puff."
"Keep going, don't stop now!"
"Huff, puff."
"Try it a bit slower."
"Huff, puff."
"That's it - keep it just like that - that's really good."
"Huff, puff."
"Try to maintain a steady rhythm - we're nearly at the climax"
"Huff, puff."
"Ahh, that's great - slow down now, that's it, we're done"
"Huff, puff; can I stop now?"
Matt and I have reached the summit of Horsewalk. Bearing in mind that Matt had 'bagged' 7th overall on Monday he wasn't finding it as tough as me and was giving much needed encouragement. The thing about Matt is that his form is as up and down as a 'Lady of the Night's' undergarments - and tonight his lacey undies are up to his chin.
We turn the corner towards The Lamb just in time to catch the tail end of the conversation between Neil and Tom - who had arrived 'a couple of seconds' earlier (well it is my blog.)
"He doesn't, ever give me the credit I so richly deserve. He mocks me in that second-rate blog of his. I used to be an Ultra you know?"
"Yes, I know Neil, I've been coming every week."
"Oh, yes, I've ridden with the best of them, and I may well ride with them again next season."
"Is that so?.
"Yes, well, I think I've proven something tonight."
"You most certainly have. You think you've got problems?; I might have to room with him on this French Trip - I'm not sure I can cope with his puerile sense of humour, let alone his 'legendary' flatulence."
"Yes, well, I'd wear ear plugs or try and 'palm' him off with Mal C if I was you - he seems easy going enough"
Matt and I come into view.
"Well done, chaps!", said Neil.
"Yes, well done", said Tom
We pushed on.
Earlier.....
"So explain it to me again, you ride all through the winter, in atrocious conditions and then when the better weather comes you stop doing the Chain Gang altogether?" asked Vicki
I'm getting ready to leave to meet with Matt, Neil and Tom to start the first of this season's 'Missing Links'.
"It's because we do TTs - you know, Time Trials."
Oh, I see, so will you be doing TTs then?"
"Well I might do a few - just to keep my 'hand in."
"Well you want to be careful at your age!. Now do you need me to help with your packing; I thought I might make a start while you're out.", asked Vicki.
"Well, if you don't mind - you won't forget to pack my Spider-man jammies, now, will you?."
"As If! - and I won't forget Mr Cuddles either, don't worry"
Vicki and I are off to Aquitaine - SW France, next week, to look for a holiday/dual life home (I've listed 'man cave' as an essential; to accommodate loads of bikes, so hope to see a few familiar faces.)
"I really don't know how we'll cope in France, what with their reputation for rubbish wine and mediocre food?", said Vicki
"Well.perhaps I could pop into Aldi tomorrow and pick up a few bits - you know, emergencies?. I was going to look for some cycling gear anyway - Nigel, from the club, 'tipped me off' that they had one of their cycling days over the Bank Holiday weekend. There might still be a few items left if he hasn't 'panic bought' them all - greedy 'so and so'."
"That's not a bad idea, have fun tonight, bye."
"Bye."
Later....
Turning right at The Lamb we race through Hermonceaux and then take the regular BBR route on to the marshes. I make a good start and then drop off the frantic pace. Alone and battling a sh*tsome headwind I begin to feel sorry for myself and start muttering: "Oh, b*ll*cks to them, I'm not bothered." Arriving just before the crossroads that lead to Chilley Farm I'm much cheered by the sight of Neil, who after a 'comfort' break, had peed on his shoes.
"The Chinese say it's lucky, you know?", he said.
 |
| Two 'Missing Links' |
We set off again at a frantic pace and stayed as a group until Spooky Hill, when again I slipped off the pace. We were 'steaming' so I didn't feel too bad. Regrouping at the end of Capt. Mainwaring Way we stopped for a moment of self-congratulation before Matt headed home and Neil,Tom and I set off down CMW, again - where I went in for an outrageous bout of 'wheel sucking' to cope with the monstrous head wind - well: 'needs does as needs must' and all that. Neil had set a blistering pace throughout the ride and really does deserve to be riding with The Ultras.
Having got home I did the obligatory uploading and checking of my Strava stats - as one does, and could see I had done quite well, considering the conditions. Also, there was a moment of excitement when I saw I was 2nd overall on a segment - It turns out to be one of those 'flukey' things that Strava does every now and then (as the segment doesn't really seem to exist) - still never mind.
If anyone wishes to join us we will be meeting at 07:00 Cooden Beach Station on the Wednesdays when we don't do a TT - so best to check with Neil, myself or Matt first.
Peter Buss
Bloggers note:
I am actually a fan of Aldi and buy quite a lot of stuff there (including some cycling gear (mostly for work I hasten to add)), please don't 'let on' to Nigel though.
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