Windy Wednesday Wobbler – Another Big Turnout

Yes, yes, I know – we’ve had three or four chain gangs and no report as yet, so I hope this makes amends. And what chain gang rides we have had! The first had more than 40 riders on it and the rides since have all had more than 30, with lots of new riders joining in – welcome! The numbers are unprecedented, in my experience, and a little alarming at times given it’s early in the chain gang season and we’re all a little ring-rusty or inexperienced. No need to worry though as I think everyone has been very aware to have a testing but safe midweek ride. Chapeau, chain-gangers!

 This week’s blowy conditions did nothing to limit numbers or enthusiasm as we set out in three or so well-spaced groups. Baron Buss had planned a strategy for surviving the tough outward leg, into-the-wind. Simply, he intended to shelter behind a chunkier gentleman. Step forward Lord Buckland, somewhat enlarged from a summer of gorging on pheasants (or is that peasants?) and gorgonzola, washed down with port. Peter espied him and gave me a wink, the crafty beggar.

 The large numbers on the ride, heading at speed into narrow and darkening lanes, gave rise to a recommendation that we ride single-file from the Herbrand Walk level crossing to past the Star Inn bridge. As far as I could tell, everyone did this and the result was a safer, smoother transition from the beach roads through the twists and pinch points that lead to the marsh proper. I announced this innovation by shouting to everyone before we started the ride. I must’ve enjoyed the shouting because I did a fair bit more as the ride continued.

 Riding in the middle group, we managed a good through and off rotation of the lead, only having any issues as we scooted up Spooky Hill, where as usual the short rise slows some more than others. This is less of a problem in smaller groups as the abilities tend to be better matched. In our larger group, you can usually live comfortably with the pace on the flat but be caught out on a hill. I know this all too well as a weaker climber; I usually end up on the outside desperately trying to make the head of the group, but being passed on the inside. Ugh! The lesson is to put yourself in the right place in the group as you ride from the Star Inn and past the level crossing at Normans Bay – easier said than done! Meanwhile, practice your hill sprints!

 So, the newer chain gang devotees are learning the ropes nicely, finding their place in the ranks and developing ever smoother riding styles. The old-hands are gruffly supportive. I shout. I mean, in a good way, but there is a fair bit of shouting emanating from my gob. Now, I think this has helped the newer (and some older) riders to have a more positive experience, but I would, wouldn’t I? Peter ‘Babs’ Baker took offence this week and offered me some shouty advice in return. We exchanged playful insults. That’s the trouble, isn’t it? The adrenaline is flowing and we’re all a bit wired, as if we’ve had a few double-espressos. Things are said, harsh things, words that sting but which cannot be taken back. You’ll be reassured to know that ‘Babs’ said he still loves me, but he always says that…

The group seems that much larger when assembled at the Pevensey roundabout, and noisier too. Neil Shier, this week acting as ‘Red Leader’ for the Ultras, confessed that he had perhaps set the pace a little too high, surrounded as he was by gasping and wheezing riders. The most excellent Stuart Hodd was not able to ride this week and I hear that Barney was busy building a bike, so it’s great that others are willing to step up and lead a group. There was a semi-structured restart to the ride in place of the usual free-for-all, which I think is an improvement. I should mention here that Simon G has kindly been ‘sweeping’ at the back of the chain to make sure the slower riders don’t get left alone on the marshes. Once he arrived, the first group made off and two further groups formed behind them shortly after.

 On the way out, we’d worked hard into the wind. Dan S did sterling work on the front, as did many others, including strong work from Kim, Adam and Duncan. Into the wind, it’s a bit easier to make smooth transitions; the wind acts as a natural brake on the front rider. On the way back, with the wind behind us, we needed more self-discipline as the breeze effectively super-charged our efforts. This is when a bit more control is needed and the groups did really well at reigning themselves in, keeping the group together and steadily building speed.

 The harder thing seemed to be controlling the urge to brake too hard when facing a hazard. A sudden drop in pace can quickly lead to a pile-up and we had a near-miss at one point. Steering might be the better thing to do, resisting the natural urge to squeeze the levers. The rider behind you will have less time to react and will be close to you. Nick S was at the end of one ripple, locking up his back wheel to avoid the rider in front; I had to swerve to miss him, neither of us sure what had happened ahead to cause this.

Whilst I’m in lecture-mode, it’s worth repeating the ‘Three Cs of the Chain Gang’: Concentrate, (be) Consistent, Communicate.

 ‘Babs’ (he likes that) had another chat with me at the traffic lights, although he had morphed into some sort of hippy character.

 ‘Just chill man, I mean, just let it happen, yeah? I mean like, what’s with the shouting?’ he drawled.

‘Well, we can’t just let it happen, if people don’t know what to do, can we?’ I replied stiffly (bloody hippy).

‘Whoa, you’re sooooo uptight Daddy-Oh, you gotta relaaaxxxx maaaaannnnn.’

 Oh dear, I think our relationship is in trouble. I’ve thought this for some time – we’re just not on the same wavelength. He’s always ‘too busy’ and then the next thing I know he’s cycling in Italy with some bloke called Paddy. I guess it’s time to move on*.

 Andy Coulter broke the awkward exchange with some sensible questions and a reminder that the club kit has arrived. You will presumably know if you ordered some or not, unless like me you cannot remember. Fear not – the excellent Andy has some spare kit, so there will be a chance to buy a shirt or whatever (whilst stocks last). Check the FaceBook page or emails for more news on this.

 Safe riding.

 
*Editor’s note: ‘Babs’ and Neil have been to Relate and are making a fresh start.

Brighton to Hastings Mtb 24/9

Our annual mtb ride to Brighton had to be reversed this year due to industrial action . We decided it would be best to get the train journey over with before starting the ride. So,myself, Peter BK, Malc and Derek arrived bleary eyed at Hastings station for 7:00 . Duncan and Tom joined us on the train at Bexhill and Eastbourne. This gave us our largest mtb turnout of the year but I was concerned that the guardsman would complain about the six mtbs blocking the carriage but despite being a bit grumpy nothing was said so we had a trouble free journey to Brighton.

Looking out the train window as the wonderful countryside flashed by it struck me just how lucky we are to live with the South Down national park on our doorstep, and that the park has been particularly kind to us this year with all the trails being so wonderfully dry.

I had mapped out the initial route along undercliff to Rottingdean but Duncan told us he knew a better way to join the downs from the marina.We all followed Duncan down to Madeira drive where we prompted stopped for bacon sarnies and tea having ridden for precisely one mile. At this rate we would have another 39 tea stops before arriving home, lol.

Suitably refreshed, Duncan took us on his new route which turned out to be an excellent way up onto the downs (our new default)

Duncan in great shape after his Italian expedition

The weather conditions were absolutely perfect, bone dry trails, a nice warm temperature and a cooling neutral southerly breeze.

In no time at all we had reached the foot of Itford hill where we had our second tea stop at the YMCA , this time opting for cakes rather than bacon sarnies. Our leg muscles were nicely warmed up and despite myself and Derek being last to the top of this massive hill I was pleased to gain a Strava pb.

Nice flowing undulating terrain took us rapidly over to Alfriston. We were all surprised at the rapid progress we were making and if this kept up we would finish the ride by the early afternoon.

From Alfriston there is a steep eroded path named on Strava as ‘lung buster’. This is my least favourite climb on the downs and I have never managed to ride up there without having to dismount. Much to my surprise, this time I managed to keep the front wheel down and made it successfully to the top without the front wheel lifting off. This isn’t because I have suddenly got fitter, its because I have ditched my long travel suspension post with a short travel one which gives me much better weight distribution on the bike .

A chance for me to escape for some solo riding

Buzzing with success I didn’t hang around to help the others fix Tom’s puncture but pressed up the next climb alone  towards  Jevington. Again, with the better position on the bike I was able to take the rooty descent from the long man faster than normal gaining another Strava pb.

All season I have been considering purchasing a full suspension rig but this sudden improvement in my hard tail 29er is making me hesitate, it’s almost like the bike is telling me, ‘don’t give up on me, I will behave from now on’

I had a few minutes on my own at Jevington, so was able to give Paul a ring. Unfortunately he had gone down with a nasty stomach bug the day before and was gutted to miss the ride. I did console him with the idea that if by a miracle the tracks remained dry in Oct I would love to do this route again.

The next long climb up to butts brow seemed so easy this day (perhaps I have got fitter after all) and I had plenty of breathe to chat with Duncan most of the way up. We both agreed that this has been a brilliant mtb season. We really don’t want to end.

Sadly we soon reached the end of the trail but had fun descending the zig zags from Beachy Head before indulging in a couple of pints at the ‘Pilot’.

This was a brilliant days riding. Although I do enjoy the ride to Brighton, I must admit that I actually prefer doing it this way round. So I think next year I will try to organise us riding it in both directions.

Thanks to all who came out and helped make it such a fun day.

Steve C

Part Deux - Pre BBR & BBR Saturday 17th Sept

Rickney Marshes - 11:22 a.m

'Hunt!'

A voice behind me boomed out and my shoulders froze - who had I upset now? - I then immediately spotted the mass of horses, tweed and dogs up ahead.

'Oh 'hunt!', that's a relief.

We had no choice but to stop and allow the group to pass by; there must have been at least 50 muddy dogs, who seemed to be having a great time; panting and wagging their tails with great enthusiasm as they pushed past.  The hunters themselves were very polite and thanked us for stopping; although we didn't have a lot of choice.  I'm not sure what kind of hunt this is, but I've also seen, bizarrely, the same group on mountain bikes over the winter! .

I was at the front of our group with Nigel and headed for Chilley Farm.

Once we had recovered from this interruption we got on to the subject of my helmet - again!

'Have you bought one yet' I asked Nigel ' only you said you liked it, and if you buy one it might stop the relentless p*ss taking I'm getting (particularly off Lord 'B' and Peter 'B')'

'It's not really fair is it?, he replied, I mean it's not as if you take the p*ss out of anyone is it?'

'Yes, quite right' I said.

Earlier............

Normans Bay Crossing - 07:44

I was particularly pleased to see Lord Buckland - it is a long while since I have seen him on a Pre BBR .  Also in attendance were Mal C, Mal D, Darren, Adam and also a newbie called Gareth

There wasn't much to report on the ride up to Beachy, accept to say that try as he might Lord 'B' was unable to shake me off, and I took great delight in slip streaming him on the final stretch to the car park - although, very tactfully I didn't pass him.

'Squeal, piggy, squeal', I taunted him as I sat on his wheel.

And received a response far too rude for this blog!

As usual I took a few snaps outside the 'bogs' then we headed back into a fierce headwind.  I was quite relieved to enter the zig-zags and get away from it.

Just outside Pevensey Bay a bus driver was 'busting a gut' to get past us - which eventually he did, but then braked, abruptly and without warning at a bus stop once he had squeezed past.  This really angered Mal D who went into 'meltdown'.  He swung past him onto the other side of the road, towards oncoming traffic, maneuvered himself through a gap about two foot wide and then swung back onto our side of the road narrowly avoiding a serious case of 'hari kari'!  We all exhaled together in relief that he hadn't got squashed and carried on towards Bexhill.

'I'm not sure what happened to the new guy?' said Adam, he seemed to get slower and slower and then just disappeared'.

I must admit to feeling some guilt about this, I mean it's his first time out with us and we didn't exactly take great care of him - I think 'The Colonel' would be less than impressed with us.  My only defence would be that on the way up to Beachy he was going really well.  He did hang around at the back ( but this is quite normal for a newbie, it takes a lot of confidence to ride on the front on your first outing with a new group - in fact it was week three before I dared to go on the front with my new club in France.), but then at the foot of the real climb he shot past me like a 'rat up a drain pipe'; so I didn't have any concerns about his fitness.  However, if you are reading this please accept our apologies for not waiting for you and if you would like to ride with us again next week Lord 'B' will buy you a 'Full English' by way of compensation.

Once we had got onto Sluice Lane Tom (who had joined us at the top of Beachy) and Mal D decided to put the 'hammer down'.  I'm not sure what was going on behind us, but Darren and I gave chase and hung on as best we could - Darren had the edge over me by a few meters as we neared the Bexhill lights, but we both resorted to cheating to beat them back to Di Paulos by taking the right turn just before the lights.

' Any idiot can take a short cut!', said an embittered Tom.

This in no way deflated Darren and I, and we swaggered into the cafe.

As usual there was a good turnout.  Steve C was there having put his MB into mothballs for the winter.

I was particularly pleased to see Ian return again for more punishment.  He didn't have a great time last week so it was great that he hadn't given up and was prepared to give it another go.

'I didn't want you lot thinking I was 'a one hit wonder', he said to me later at Chilley.

We set off on time.

'Have you bought another new bike this week, Steve?' I asked sarcastically.

'Funny you should say that! - I looked at a full suspension MTB, but they didn't have it in my size', he replied cheerfully.

I don't know how many bikes he has but it must be a lot.

As usual the group split into two at the turn for Tilley Lane.

I chose the 'Nouveau Classico' route again along with Andy C, Nigel, Ian and Mal C - I've got a feeling I've forgotten someone (so apologies if it is you.)

Nigel and I arrived at Chilley ahead of the rest and ordered our grub, and as we sat down he spotted the couple at the next table who had Bromptons. Very kindly they let him have a go on one as he had explained that he was thinking of buying one for his commutes to London.  Watching him play around on it I was very much reminded of the scene in 'Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid' where Paul Newman rides around to the accompaniment of 'Rain drops keep falling on my head'; i was even tempted to take the place of Katherine Ross and sit astride the cross bar! (those under the age of 50 may wish to ignore this paragraph.)

When the food arrived I felt a massive pang of envy as Nigel had ordered a sausage bap and it had three sausages in it! - I would have easily swapped my egg and bacon bap for it and shall defo order one next week.

The best thing about a BBR is that at the food stop we all sit around and talk rubbish and take the p*ss out of everybody, and this week was no exception,  and I shall certainly look forward to doing the whole thing again next week!

Peter Buss

PART DEUX - Pre BBR & BBB 'Back on home soil'

 Thursday 1st Sept, 16:31 - Normans Bay

'Harrumph, murhh, murhh'

'You've started already, haven't you? , you've been back five minutes and you've started already!'

'Started what?'
'Moaning!'
'Well it's hardly my fault is it? - blame Maurice Wilks!'
'Who?'
'Maurice Wilks - he designed the Land Rover which then evolved into the Range Rover.  You know the driver is legally allowed to kill cyclists once he obtains his 'licence to kill' badge?'
'What are you on about?'
'The 'licence to kill' badges, which the DVLC euphemistically call personalised number plates - it's a lethal combination.  Mind you, my brother (who lives in Windlsham, Surrey) says it's much worse there - he said his local Waitrose is 'rammed' with them'.

I've just arrived home after a very pleasant ride over Beachy Head with Neil followed by a walk along the beach with Poppy, and I'm having a nice cup of Tetley with Vicki.
There's a big hole appeared in the 'chicane' (the part of Coast Road that narrows down - with passing places- just after the crossing in the direction of Pevensey) and I've just had two drivers careering towards me before turning sharply right just in time - this is to save them waiting 2 milliseconds to let me go past when it's their side of the road that's blocked (to be fair, only one was a RR.)

When coming back to the UK you realise what a congested little island we are (not just returning from abroad; Neil said as much on returning from Somerset.)
'Did I moan much in France?' , I asked Vicki.
'Not at all', she assured me.
Q.E.D, then, I only moan in England and it's mostly about cars and impatient drivers - oh, and Michael Buble (the man who takes 'smarmy' to new heights.)
In France you don't really see any RRs; apart from the one blocking the narrow medieval road where the bank in Clairac sits.  The driver pulled up, got out his wallet to use the cash machine and when the poor lady sat behind him indicated she would like to get past, he pointed to the half a meter wide gap he had left as if to say 'What is wrong with you, cant you see I'm busy and much more important than you?'

The above is very much the exception in France, but it's not necessarily that all French drivers are more courteous it's just that there is much more room on the road for bikes and cars.  In fact I got knocked off my bike by a tractor.  He followed me for some time and then tried to ease past me even though the trailer he was towing was wider than the road.  The trailer had a giant reel of cable on it, which sat on a base with really wide wheels, and as he went past the wheel that was hanging in mid-air steered me into the ditch.  He did at least stop and look through his little rear window:
'Your load is too wide!', I said
But he seemed to take it as a compliment and smiled.  I must look up the French word for ***ker.

Saturday 3rd Sept, 07:44 - Normans Bay Crossing
First group ride with the club since coming back after 8 weeks in France and I'm really looking forward to it.  I wasn't sure if anyone would be there, so it was relief to see Gary and Mal D waiting.
Shortly afterwards we were joined by Andy Ashby.
'Mind if I tag along?', he politely asked .
Just short of the start of the Beachy climb, Andy said:
'I can see a Hastings shirt up ahead'
I was really impressed with this because I could just about make out a shadowy figure which could have been a cyclist, but 'not in a million years' would I have worked out what he was wearing.  It transpired that he was right and it was Andy C.

Shortly after this a dog ran out in front of us, bearing in mind it nearly caused a 'pile up' I thought an apology from the owner might have been appropriate - still never mind.
It was as I watched Gary and Mal ease ahead that I realised that the high altitude training in SW France hadn't really paid off.  Andy A also kept a discreet distance ahead of me, but Andy C who was thinking about breakfast, and was just 'chilling' kept a discreet distance behind me.
Assembled at the top I got Andy A to take some pics - he wasn't allowed to be in them because he was the only one not wearing kit.

'I'm going off ahead of you lot because I want my breakfast', said Andy C, 'but feel free to go past me'
He set off at a pace and we followed on shortly afterwards.
I gave it some 'welly' on the descent and led the others down the 'zig zags', but it wasn't until we were back on the seafront did we catch up with Andy C who by this time had a tummy that was rumbling audibly.  On the way down to the pier I saw a young lady in front and saw it as a challenge to try and go past her.  Eventually I did get past but only after exerting maximum effort - it's a male pride thing - pathetic, I know.  About five minutes later she passed us on the east side of the pier.
Once at the Pevensey lights Mal announced he was going via Normans Bay to save his legs for the BBR and took Andy C with him.

For most of the rest of the ride back I gallantly allowed Andy A and Gary to 'shoulder' the responsibility of being on the front - there is an unwritten rule on the Pre BBR that says:  'he who is not doing the BBR must take the lead all the way back to Di Paulos'.
It had been a rapid pace again - about 19mph - and once back at the aforementioned cafe I could see a few had got there early.
I spotted the older of the 'fun chums' on his own:
'What is it this time I pondered? - another trial seperation, irreconcilable differences, a 'tiff'.
'Where's Pat today?' I asked.
'Oh, he's doing his own thing', he replied
I stood in the queue behind Andy C.
'I'll have scrambled eggs and a sausage' he said ' No, I'll tell you what - make that two sausages'

Outside our group was growing rapidly; two newbies were in attendance: Corelia - who does short triathlons -  and Paul who completed the Ride London recently.  The Colonel, as usual was not giving his scrambled eggs the attention they deserved and was focusing on more erudite things that eating.
'We're doing the usual BBR route but via Catsfield, some will go via Tilley lane and some will take the more direct route over the marshes' he informed me.
'It's called the 'BBR Nouveau Classico' said Peter B
'I hope my breakfast turns up soon, otherwise I won't have time to eat it' said a concerned Andy C.
He needn't have worried as it arrived in plenty of time.

It was really good to see Stuart 'Lord B' Buckland, who explained that he hadn't been cycling lately due to gout brought on by drinking too much port and eating game that hadn't been 'hung' for long enough.  In fact it was good to see Mal C, Matt S and Stuart all on the same ride (albeit the BBR) as the four of us were the 'founding fathers' of the Pre BBR.

As is traditional, there is much re-grouping on a BBR, and whilst waiting at a crossroads in Catsfield wth Peter B we encountered a women sitting on her horse.
'There's quite a few more more of us' said Pete, 'but don't worry we'll be quiet.'
'Yes, well, that's the problem though, isn't it?, the horses don't hear you coming!, she said abruptly.
'O.K, we'll make a lot of noise, then!'
Sensing Pete was getting a bit agitated, I made a suggestion:
'How about we just make conversation at a medium level as we approach?'
We pushed on as a group until the regular stop at the garage on the top of Boreham Hill, where I took some snaps (please note Pete B looking like Prisclla 'Queen of the Desert')

A few including, Mal C went via Tilley Lane, but I went with the majority of the group on the shorter route.

About half a mile from the left turn at the garden center Peter appeared to be outraged that a girl had overtaken him - as he wasn't on the Pre BRR he wasn't aware of the fact that this was the same girl who I had first passed on the way down from 'Beachy'.  He immediately gave chase and caught her just before the turn off.  I mean how pathetic was that? - allowing male pride to get the better of him - but having said that this was a clear case of female pride on display, as well.

Over the marshes Pete and I led the group back to Chilley Farm - and I must admit feeling a sense of pride arriving back first - perhaps the altitude training was working after all!  (or maybe the others weren't really trying as hard).
We were all  surprised to see Nigel waiting at a table in the shade.
'Why didn't you join us on the ride?' I asked
'Well, to be honest all my decent gear is in the wash and I was forced to wear these old Aldi 'Nut Crushers' - he tugged at the gusset to emphasis the discomfort - they're OK for short rides but I couldn't risk doing the whole of the BBR.'

After a good ol' bit of 'banter' and some decent grub, I made my way back to the roundabout with some of the others.  The Colonel pulled alongside:
'It's been a great social occasion today, I've really enjoyed it', he said 'although I did have problems with a double puncture and a faulty valve'

Back home I basked in the warm 'glow' that follows a good ride and felt pleased to be back in Normans Bay - I love France but I love it here as well - a great dilemma to have, I must admit.

Peter Buss