The Gods smiled on us after all. Having forecast heavy rain between 7pm and 9pm, neatly washing out the chain gang, what rain there was came early. The late afternoon sun and wind dried the road beautifully and apart from the cool and stiff south-westerly breeze, conditions were perfect for the last chain gang of the 2014-15 season.
I had decided before arriving that I was not going to ride with the Ultras as the wind would batter me more than them. They set off a little ahead of the rest of us, with Steve C telling Simon G that ‘we might catch the Ultras at the lights’ or similar. Simon’s face was a picture - his eyebrows rose and his lip curled as he repeated with disdain ‘the Ultras? Blimey…’ And so the rest of us followed on in a large group, bunched and hunched low into the wind, none of us looking forward to the outward grind.We rode pretty well as a group, rotating as best we could between a wide range of abilities. The wind made smooth transitions at the front all the harder but we worked together knowing that losing the group would mean an even harder slog across the marshes. Stewart B was looking rather pleased with himself, his Giant X-Wing Aero 2000 Slice Foil Scalpel Razor GTS thing sucking him through the wind like a Kevlar sail. He’d sent his driver ahead with the weekday run-around (Porsche) should he find the ride too tiring. Us mere mortals were bent double over our bars, pushing hard to maintain a half-decent speed. Stewart was pedalling gently, munching foie gras and sipping champers, occasionally needing to trim his flaps for maximum efficiency. ‘How are you Stewart?’ I called. ‘Grifting nicely, thank you, now be a sport and bugger off’ he replied. ‘Nuf said, I know my place.
Matt was riding well, now fully recovered from a debilitating and lengthy episode of ‘numb knob’, as reported in Peter B’s blog entry at the weekend. Thank you for sharing that – it’s good to raise awareness of things that chaps find hard to talk about, break down the stigma etc. Help is usually at hand for such problems. I find a mixture of dried chillies and olive oil, applied to the chamois pad in your shorts, ensures a healthy flow of blood to vital organs, although Peter B reports that this has not yet worked for him. I suggest he mix in some crushed Viagra tablets, but this might have unfortunate side effects (do please consult a medical professional before trying this at home). Just occasionally, I too have suffered similar symptoms. Whilst I quite enjoyed the pins and needles as feeling returned, I think this is not something I had to deal with when I had a saddle with a channel along the middle. Worth a look Matt? Peter, mate, I think it is too late for you, sorry.
These issues aside, we rumbled onwards, fighting hard along Herbrand but then enjoying more of a side wind as we turned over the level crossing and made our winding way over the marsh lanes. Malc was often on the front and often somewhere ahead of us as he rode his antique single speed, training for the TT season perhaps? John S said taking the front was like stabbing your thighs with knives and I know what he means! Coming out of the shelter of the group was a bit of a shock for most of us, slowing the front rider more than usual and causing some consternation behind as the group slowed suddenly. The final sprint segment was far less wind affected and Tom N fancied his chances of leading us in. I cruelly eased past him, pausing to laugh evilly in his right ear before hoofing forward. Ok, childish, but I will not have the chance again until the autumn.The return leg started well enough, with a small group of us going out at speed. Barney and Stuart H soon overtook us, both hacking past at a good lick. I upped my pedalling and dropped down a gear to catch them, just about bridging the gap before they went faster still and pulled away. I found myself riding alone, waiting for a following group to tag on to. I felt slower than usual, even with the wind behind me, but Strava tells me I achieved a good number of personal records along the marshes and Cooden Drive, showing how perceptions can be inaccurate. If I was fast, most everyone else was faster still, finishing the ride and the last chain gang in strong form. Post chain drinks at the Forum gave us a chance to chat about the chain gang rides this season and to discuss the pending time trial season. Perhaps it is time for some TT bars. Hmmm…
As is customary, I rode back with Peter B, handing him over to his nurse at the border with the Peoples’ Republic of Normans Bay. She was quite concerned, as Peter is not normally allowed a drink as it interferes with his medication. I explained that a half-pint of bitter shandy would not have much effect, although his speech might be slurred for a few hours. She looked less than happy on hearing this and I realised that Peter was in for a stern punishment from matron. Sorry Peter!
For the hell of it, I rode on to Pevensey roundabout and retraced the chain gang route to Bexhill, doing a double chain gang as a fitting way of celebrating the fun and freedom of riding a bike into the twilight. The second return leg was moonlit, something I have written about often in this blog (I know), and so for old time’s sake I turned off my lights on Herbrand and watched the moonlight glitter on the waves.
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| ‘Peter Buss, Chief Missing Link, before medication’ |
But I remember best those rides in the more extreme weather. When you are riding in bad conditions, you wonder what on earth you are doing, but when you’re home – safe, dry and warm – it gives a great sense of achievement. They are a Wednesday adventure with drama, fresh air and banter that sustain me through the rest of the working week. Time Trials will replace them, as well as some unofficial ‘Missing Link’ rides when I cannot make the TTs in the bad lands of Hastings…
Regards, Neil
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